Inspiration for love
by Eternalfan
Summary: Bella leaves for school overseas when Jacob & Edward's fights worsen.A bad affair leaves her a single mom & makes her afraid to love & be loved in return.Jacob still loves her & Bella still loves Jake.Can the pack a& the Cullens inspire her to love again?
1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone!! I just saw New Moon. So inspirational and Taylor Lautner... wow. that's the only way I can put it.

This is something new that's been nagging at my mind for some time now and I just had to get it out. It's just the first chapters but I have so many ideas (Yes I'm still working on The Path to Realization lol!! I still can't believe how that story has picked up. You guys are all so awesome!! I love you all)

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BPOV**

I sat at my computer reviewing my applications, still not sure of where I wanted to go to school. I considered New York State University because it was the closest top school I could attend and still be near to the ones I loved, but then came the topic of Jacob and Edward and the constant conflicts. To be honest I was now thinking of going abroad to give myself space. Space would have been the last thing I would have wanted last year when Edward left me broken but now I craved it. The madness that was now my life was being pulled in two different directions by the two men I loved.

"Penny for your thoughts love," Edward's cool breath tickled my ear. Startled I screamed and put a hand to my chest to slow my heart when I realized it was him.

"Edward! What are you doing?! You gave me a heart attack," his eyes became ridden with guilt. He was always telling me how fragile I was and here I blamed him for testing said fragility.

"I'm so sorry Bella, I didn't mean to frighten you. Will you forgive me?" he brushed a hand through my hair, sweeping it away from my face and kissed my forehead. How couldn't I forgive him when he did that. His breath a drug that called to me, making my mouth water.

"Of course," I brought my mouth up to his, my breath catching at the thought of his lips touching mine.

"Lame," the deep gruff voice in my doorway made me jump, again. I pulled away from Edward and had to fight the urge to moan just at the sight of Jacob standing in my doorway shirtless, as always now a days. Not that I was complaining. A chest like that should be admired.

"How did you get in?" stupid question. I could tell he was thinking the same thing when he raised an eyebrow in astonishment.

"We're practically family Bella," just then a smile tugged at one corner of his mouth. "Except for that we're not actually related. Thank god for that," his big smile spread across his face. My smile.

I blushed at what he was implying. I knew Charlie preferred Jacob over Edward, he never tried to hide the fact. The most recent development in that direction was Charlie giving Jacob a key to our house and actually turned the spare room full of his extra fishing equipment and old stuff from when he and mom were married into a guest room. That's what he called it. We, Jacob, Edward and I all knew what it really was. It was a room for Jacob should he want to stay the night. Charlie may want us together but he would still shoot him on the stop if he caught him in my room at night, not that it would do much.

"Will you please keep your perverse thoughts to yourself," Edward's face was contorted in pain. I cringed at what Jacob must be thinking. The smug look on his face was a dead give-away. His grin just got wider when I blushed bright red at the thought of what he must be conjuring up in his mind to torture my poor vampire.

"Oh for the love of god! That's not even possible for a human!" Edward's eyes nearly bugged out of his face. Jacob burst out laughing, and wiggled his eyebrows at me when I gave him a questioning look.

"Do I even want to know?"

"NO!" Edward turned me away from Jacob. In all honesty I was getting pretty tired of this overprotective side of him. And so was Jacob apparently.

"Oh come on! It was a joke. Pull the fangs out of your ass and lighten up," I snorted and burst out laughing at Jacob's statement. I wrapped my arms around my waist, holding my ribs that were starting to hurt from laughing so hard.

Edward looked annoyed but nothing more. I knew he loved to see me laugh even if it was at his expense. With my body bent over in my office chair, I didn't realize my computer screen was visible… with the list of European Universities.

I knew he'd seen the site when he stiffened.

"What the hell is this Bella?" Jacob stomped over to my other side, scrutinizing the screen, then looked back at me with a hurt look in his eyes.

"It's a list of Universities," I played it dumb, hoping they wouldn't think much of it.

"A list of Universities in the United Kingdom," Edward's golden gaze shifted from the screen to my face. The look on both their faces was killing me. I couldn't stand it. I stood up and walked to my window, sitting on the sill. I smiled looking down at the wooden frame of the window where you could still see scratches and impressions in the wood from when they would come visit me. I traced a fingerprint pushed deep in the wood, most likely Jacob's and my smile faded when I saw the faint scratch marks left by Edward.

"I can't keep doing this,"

"What do you mean?" Edward stepped forward but stopped when I turned to look at him. It hurt to see the both of them in my room, the space bristling with hatred towards each other.

"This," I gestured to them and then looked back down, tracing both indents in the wood made by the men I loved. That's when I noticed that both of the marks actually touched, it was faint but it was there. I just wished they could connect and see how much their animosity was slowly killing me.

"I told you to stay away from her now look what you've done!" Jacob's voice quivered as his anger began to take over him.

"What I did? We were just fine until you decided to meddle,"

"Meddle?! I saved her! You left her for dead and I put her back together. If it wasn't for me she'd still be broken and suffering from your neglect," I heard Edward hiss and knew Jacob had hit a sore spot. I hated hearing him speaking to Edward like that but he had a point.

"Will the two of you STOP!" I don't remember ever screaming that loud in my life, but I had to get their attention and there didn't seem to be any other way.

Both men were nose to nose, Jacob shaking, barely keeping it in check while Edward's fingers looked ready to tear Jacob limb from limb. At my shriek but turned, surprise etched on their beautiful faces.

"Out. Now," I pointed to the door.

"Bella we still have to dis-"

"What I plan to do for my future is my business Edward! You've made it plain you don't want to change me. I've come to terms with that, I don't like it but I'm dealing with it,"

"But Bells, it's overseas?!" Jacob's anger was starting to spill over, I was beginning to fear he'd tear my room apart. I wasn't afraid he'd actually hurt me, that was ridiculous.

"What's your point?"

"It's o-ver-seas!" he exaggerated, his eyes wide with what looked like fear. He was another one who was fiercely overprotective of me.

"Yeah and? That's my choice and I've decided to go to Oxford, I just sent my application," I lied.

"First of all, learn to lie. You're terrible. Second, there's no way in hell I'm letting you go overseas where anything can happen," Jacob advanced with each statement, his face now inches from my own. I refused to let myself be intimidated and stood up on my tip toes, barely reaching his nose.

"Listen here Jacob," I poked him in the chest," I will go to any school I please and do NOT need your permission, or Edward's." He opened his lips to object but I put my hand over his mouth. The feel of his lips sending shivers down my spine. _Don't let yourself get distracted!_ I pulled myself straight again and looked at Edward. "I'm going and its final,"

"We'll see about that," with that Edward left in the blink of an eye, his scent lingering in the corner of my room. I sighed knowing that I'd have a struggle the likes of which I'd never experienced but I was determined to have it my way.

"Why? Can you at least tell me that?" I turned to find Jacob sitting on my bed, his arms draped over his bent knees, his shoulders slumped in defeat. I knew I'd hurt him with forcing my opinion on him but my point needed to be made. I wasn't taking it back.

"Why. You and Edward are why," I sat down next to him my hand playing in his. His fingers automatically entwined themselves with mine. I smiled at how natural it felt, we didn't even have to think about it. "Every time you and Edward fight it hurts so bad. I can't stand it that I'm causing you both grief,"

"Why is it that you always think that things are your fault?"

"Can you honestly tell me it's not?" his warm hands turned my face to his. I closed relishing in the feel of his heat, and gasped when his lips touched mine in a soft kiss.

"You are more than worth the fight Bells," he brought his head back down to mine, but his words his a cord. I knew they would fight for me. Fight until one of them was severely hurt, or worse. I pulled out of his embrace and stood up walking back to my computer.

"What's wrong?" he came up behind me, his hands resting on my shoulders.

"Jake I have to do this. I can't stand that I'm hurting the both of you just by being here. Besides, I heard Oxford has an amazing Law program,"

"What a vampire isn't enough for you, you want to be a blood sucking lawyer?" I knew he was joking but he really hit a sore point.

"Jake, just leave please,"

"Fine," he stood and just as he reached the doorway he turned. "Don't think that this is over. As much as I hate to admit it, the leech was right. We'll see about this," his stare and determined demeanor made me so angry. I went back to my computer and debated if going abroad was what I really wanted. Biting my lip in indecision, I thought back to how sure the two of them had been in having a say in what I wanted to do with my life. I took a deep breath and filled out the application.

"There. It'd done. Now the wait to see if I made it,"

* * *

**Two months later**

I drove back to the house eager to see if I'd gotten any mail. I'd received a few acceptances from the Universities I'd applied here in the States but wanted to see what I would get from Oxford. I parked my truck and quickly ran out, nearly plummeting to the ground thanks to my clumsiness.

I opened the mail box and my shoulders slumped at yet another day without a word. That's when I smelled it. The sweet arousing scent that I knew only came from one person; Edward. Running back to my truck I turned it up and threw it in gear in a way I knew would have Jacob flinching.

I drove like a madwoman, angry, furious that he would do such a thing. How dare he! I finally arrived at the house and threw the truck in parc, ignoring its grunt of pain as the gears settled in place. I slammed the door and stormed to the porch when the door opened and Alice danced out to meet me, her cool embrace only serving to make me angrier. I knew she'd seen this coming, why she didn't say anything was beyond me. She stiffened when I didn't hug her back and I softened at the look of remorse on her face.

"I can't say I blame him Bella, I'm not saying it's right what he did but he should have a say,"

"He could have, now he doesn't," I walked past her and into the Cullen home where Esme and Carlisle came to greet me, both with beaming smiles.

"Where is he," I hated being so abrupt, the two of them had more than loving to me, but I had to get my letter.

"In the backyard dear. With Jacob," my fury boiled over and walked right past them knowing they wouldn't be angry with me. I walked into the kitchen and straight to the patio door leading to the backyard where I saw the two of them talking. I slid the pane of glass and slammed it shut behind me hoping to make it sound as aggressive as I wanted it to be. Both men turned to look at me, both with determined looks on their faces.

"Oh so _now_ the two of you decide to be all buddy. Let's all gang up on Bella," I put my hands on my hips and walked down to them wanting to hurt them. They had no trouble hurting me with their fighting when it suited them and now that I wanted to do something they had no trouble hurting me with their insensitive gestures. Well now I wanted to hurt them but that's rather hard when one's an immortal vampire and the other a practically indestructible werewolf.

"Bella we told you we would discuss this before you'd actually decide anything," Edward's cool voice which usually turned my knees to jelly now grated my nerves and made me want to slap that beautiful face.

"No you said we'd discuss it. _I_ have nothing to discuss with either of you," Jacob turned to face me fully and crossed his arms over his massive chest.

"Bells, listen-"

"Shut up!" I grabbed the largest object I could lift and hit him with it as hard as I could. The only thing was that I grabbed a large bird house sitting on the corner of the patio which shattered when I hit him with it. I instantly felt bad knowing that it was most likely Esme's but at the moment I was happy that I'd gotten that out of my system even though Jacob looked like he'd been hit by a bubble for all the effect it did.

"Are you done?" His question and the way he asked it made me angrier. And that's when I realized the only way to get to them would be to hurt me and I was desperate to get my anger out so I did it in a way I knew they'd regret. I punched Jacob in the face and kicked his shin. I howled in pain when I heard and felt my bones break on impact.

"Bells! What the hell?!"

"Bella!" Edward rushed to help me at the same time as Jacob. Edward hissed at Jacob who growled right back at him. They were too engrossed in their supremacy over who would take care of me, they failed to notice me hopping on one foot while clutching my broken hand close to my chest. I shoved my way through the two angry men I loved with every fiber of my being but hated at the same time and hopped over to the porch to where I knew help would arrive within seconds.

Alice was out in the blink of an eye and picked me up, bringing me to Carlisle in an instant. Behind his desk, Carlisle looked up, his brilliant smile was wiped right off his face at the sight of protruding bone through my wrist and odd angle of my foot. The smell of blood wafted up to my nose and I felt my stomach dive down and turn over in nausea. I turned my face onto the cool skin of Alice chest, temporarily relieved by her frigid body temperature.

"Bella, oh my god, what happened?" he rushed to my side, medic bag already in hand. He ushered Alice to lay me on his desk but I clutched to her like a life line.

"No please, I need someone to hold me,"

"Then let me," Edward was in the doorway, a disgraced look on his face. He walked towards me with every intention of taking me from Alice but stopped when he looked at Alice. Alice must have seen something happening for he looked at me and turned around, his shoulders sagging with guilt. I felt my heart breaking at what he must have realized was the inevitable but it seemed to be the only way to get through to him.

"Bells?" Jacob stood just behind Edward. Edward put a hand on Jacob's chest to stop him. Jacob growled but stopped at something Edward whispered to him.

"I'll go get your letter," Edward was gone and back in the blink of an eye with my letter in hand. Just when I was about to take it Carlisle chose that moment to set my foot. I screamed in pain, tears running down my cheeks as I clutched Alice's arm for support. I looked down at Carlisle and smiled weakly when he looked at me apologetically. He moved to my hand and I moaned in pain when he picked it up.

"I can't take this," Jacob turned away, covering his ears. Edward growled and shoved Jacob's hands off his ears.

"You should hear it, it's because of you that she's like this!"

"If you hadn't had the bright idea of taking her letter she wouldn't have been so angry!"

"_ENOUGH!_" I yelled, just before Carlisle set my hand. Alice put her cool hand across my forehead, keeping me conscious when I'm sure I would have passed out otherwise. "Enough," I said, panting, trying to catch my breath, the pain taking over.

"Easy Bella," Carlisle took out a needle and gave me a quick shot. The cool fluid ran through my body like a cool but welcome burst of water. The pain was almost non-existent within seconds.

"Alice, take her home. Keep an eye on her please,"

"I can take her," Edward offered. Carlisle put a hand to his chest to hold him back and held his other hand out to Edward. Sighing in defeat, Edward gave Carlisle my letter from Oxford. He gave it to Alice, who tucked it in my jacket pocket. Jacob stepped forward arms ready to take me but Alice stopped, holding me tight to her chest.

"Both of you, in my office," Edward and Jacob looked at Carlisle and walked in, Carlisle closed the door behind them.

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**My house**

I opened my door and nearly fell to the ground before Alice caught me.

"Silly Bella, let me carry you in," smiling her bright smile that I knew was pure farce but I kept my mouth shut until we were inside. I asked her to put me down on the couch; at least I'd be close to everything I needed.

"So, what would you like to do?"

"Drop the act Alice and please give me my letter,"

"Bella you know they're only doing this because they both love you fiercely,"

"Give it Alice," sighing she pulled the letter out of her coat.

"You're in,"

"I know," she frowned at me. "Would Edward create such a fuss over a rejection letter?" I opened it anyway with one hand but I managed. I had to see for myself. I smiled at the congratulatory letter.

"You know this changes everything," Alice's shoulders were hunched over in sadness. At first I wasn't sure what she was referring to then it dawned on me. My being changed and joining the Cullen family.

"I know Alice, but I have to do this. Please trust me," I pleaded. Alice looked up and looked like if she could she would be crying.

"I know, it's just I really wanted you to be my sister, and Edward loves you so much," I smiled and stroked her cold beautiful cheek.

"We can still be sisters, just please understand. I love you Alice, you're my best friend and my sister." She smiled brightly and hugged me tight.

"Alice, air!"

"Oh sorry,"

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**Three weeks later, Washington Airport**

I don't know what Carlisle told them but both men were very contrite and promised to be understanding and supportive of my decision. I had to admit it was hard leaving them. A part of me felt like it was dying at the mere thought of being separated for so long and so far, but the other more persistent part of me said it was for the best, for all three of us. It was still hard and I couldn't help the tears that escaped.

Edward approached me, that beautiful soft smile on his lips, I loved that smile. This was going to be so hard.

"If you ever need anything, money, clothes, a house, a hug," I laughed through my tears," I will be there," he brushed my bangs away and left a soft lingering kiss on my forehead. His hand gripped me to his hard body, clutching the material of my coat.

"Thank you, but you have to let me go,"

"You know I promised I wouldn't when you saved me from the Volturri and here you are making break that promise," he kept smiling softly while speaking to me in that low gruff voice I loved. That's how I knew he was fighting a dangerous battle within. I reached up and kissed the corner of his mouth and whispered, "I love you," before I walked over to Jacob.

My light, my sunshine was leaning against the doorway to my flight, looking down at his shoes like they were the most interesting thing he'd ever seen. I knew better. I walked up to him between his legs, until I was directly in his field of vision, or at least my feet were. He looked up, and I almost came undone. His eyes were glassy with unshed tears. He didn't need to say anything, he just wrapped his arms around me and held me close, inhaling the scent of my hair like he was memorizing me. I did the same. I loved his woodsy smell, the feel of his muscles through his t-shirt. His soft skin, all of it was my Jacob.

"Come back please. That's all I want. Just please come back," his voice broke and he buried his face in the crook of my neck to hide his tears. I couldn't hold them in anymore, I cried. I cried for the two men I loved whom I was about to leave for four years. The two men I loved more than my own life.

I untangled myself from Jacob, not without much difficulty. And not all on his part, I wouldn't let go. I was beginning to regret my decision. I had to leave, leave now before I lost the last thread of resolve I was hanging onto.

I picked up my carry-on luggage and said my goodbyes one last time before I boarded my plane to the UK.

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Don't forget to review. I really want to know what you guys think =)


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys!! I'm so happy I already got reviews for my first chapter! Wow! thank you so much. I hope this one proves to be as promising and captivating, and satisfying as my other All-Human story.

As always I still own absolutely nothing.  
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BPOV**

**One year late**

I stood at the sink of my small apartment on campus cleaning my dishes and thinking of my most recent phone call to the Cullens. Alice knew about my latest dilemma, of course. She knew what was going on. Now it was just to keep Edward out of the loop. Lord only knows how Alice will do it.

I gasped as my kidney took another shot from the life growing inside me. Even though I was seven months pregnant I had managed to keep my 4.0 grade point average and attended all of my classes. My teachers all knew of my condition, not that I could hide it, I was as big as a whale. They were all sympathetic and offered to send the class readings, assignments and notes to me via email. I thanked them all for that and took them up on their offer for when the time came.

I smiled, remembering mine and Alice's conversation.

"You should see the looks Edward's been giving me all week. He must think I've lost my mind, not that I blame him. I've been repeating Shakespear's 'The Merchant of Venice' over and over in my mind,"

"I can just imagine the suspicious look on his face," I winced at another kick and took deep breaths to calm my heartbeat and alleviate some of the pain.

"So, when were you planning on telling me?" Alice sounded hurt. At first I wasn't sure what she meant, I tried to think of what I could have possibly neglected to tell her, but couldn't think of anything.

"Tell you what?" I dropped my plate back into the soapy water waiting for her response.

"You're alone." The silence after that was deafening. I didn't know what to say to that because it was true.

"Yeah, I must have forgotten all about that," I heard the catch in my voice and hated that _he_ still managed to upset me.

"Bella, you're a horrible liar," I could hear the sympathy in her voice and that upset me more than anything. I didn't want anyone's sympathy.

"Listen Alice, I can do this on my own with or without that jerk," I heard her gasped and knew I'd hurt her. I sighed, hurting my best friend was the last thing I wanted to do but I just wanted someone to understand. "I'm sorry, I just hate that everyone talks to me like I don't know what I'm doing,"

"Bella, you're almost nineteen and going to be a single mom in less than two weeks. That seems a little much to me. Will you at least come back soon? You know we'd all love to help,," she let out an excited squeal and I had to hold the phone away from my ear as remembered something. "I almost forgot to tell you! Sam and Carlisle have reviewed the treaty over boundaries and have agreed to remove them!"

My eyebrows shot up at that, surprised was the smallest way I could describe it. "Really? Wow! Why?"

"Something about being more efficient about keeping rogue vampires at bay with both us and the Quilleute pack working together," again I was blown away by this. I was sure Jacob had a hand in that but I couldn't put my finger down on it as to why.

"Anyway Alice, I promise to come home as soon as I'm done my degree and I'll keep you updated about the baby,"

"That's in three years!"

"Alice,"

"Oh alright, but I don't have to like it,"

"I know, but I expect you out of all my friends to understand."

"I do," I could hear the sadness in her voice but I was so happy she'd agreed to respect my choice. "I'll look forward to getting pictures to show everyone," I was about to ask her to keep it on a low but she beat me to it.

"I won't say anything until you've given birth. You know how Edward is. He'd fly down the minute he'd get news. But they all deserve to know. You know that right?"

"Yeah you're right. Okay when I give birth I'll send pictures," Alice squealed in delight, making take the phone away from my ear, again.

"Oh this will be wonderful! I'll be an aunty! I love you Bella, bye!" I laughed at her excitement, but happy that the conversation had been cut short.

"Bye Alice," I hung up and thought about what she said. About being alone, the treaty, and my friends and family being happy for me. It'll be a nice change to what I'd been getting lately from the father-to-be.

Kevin, one of my colleagues, whom I'd gotten really close to within the first semester had taken it badly when he'd found out I was pregnant. He'd packed his things and left but not without leaving his two cents on the subject.

I knew all of this was happening way too fast, but he seemed like the ideal person to latch on to since I was so lonely. I was so use to having the company of someone I loved and who loved me back that I'd become homesick. He said he loved me and I'd believed him. Kevin had been there when I'd needed him along with other friends from school like Alicia, Brenda, and Tammy. All three had told me the same thing; something wasn't right with Kevin, he was being too nice.

I didn't think anything of it, loving the attention he'd been giving me that I so craved. His looks didn't help my situation either. He was almost like an identical mix of my Jacob and Edward. Olive tinted skin, brownish amber eyes, black shoulder length hair and the build like a Greek god. One night, when I felt exceptionally lonely he'd called to see if I was alright. He invited himself over and one thing led to another. Lord knows he felt awful for it later, but none of his concerns were for me especially since he'd neglect to use a condom.

The months went by, he waited for me to get an abortion, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It may sound silly but I was already feeling so close to the life growing inside me and I felt like he or she may just be the push I needed to get my life in order. Give me something to live for whether his father wanted to help or not. It didn't matter, I wouldn't let anything happen to my baby.

Kevin was sure I was trying to scam him into staying with me. In all honesty with the things he'd been saying about me during class to his friends, I wanted nothing to do with him. Then came the harassment; the threatening phone calls that if I didn't get rid of it he'd see to it that I'd be expelled. The hostile looks and letters during class calling me a tramp, schemer, saying I was purposely trapping him with a baby. I ignored him as best as I could until I was forced to move out of my apartment and into another, still on campus in order to get away from him.

It had been almost four months since I'd heard from him and I still didn't regret my decision. I was having this baby, finishing my degree and then I was heading home.

* * *

**Four years later**

I stepped out of the taxi and looked out at Charlie's house. I smiled, I knew my friends were more than eager to see me since I'd taken an extra year to do an internship to get some experience and make a name for myself before moving back.

"Momma!" I laughed, Rafe ever the impatient little termagant.

"Okay, okay, I'm coming," I went around the other side of the taxi and opened the door to unbuckle him while the driver took my luggage out of the trunk.

"Faster momma!" I laughed at his impatience and gave him a little tap on the nose. He laughed and tapped mine in return.

"Listen little man, you're coming out of this chair, but there's no need to be fussy about it," I ruffled his short black hair and kissed his forehead.

"I wanna see granpa,"

"You'll see granpa," I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face at the thought of Charlie finally seeing his grandson. He'd only seen him through online chat with video where he'd call at least once a week to speak to 'his special little man.'

I let him down holding his little hand in mine. Lately he wanted to do everything himself, and he didn't want help doing anything, except holding hands. He loved sliding his little hand in mine every chance he got.

I noticed the front door was left open except for the screen door was put in place, for July it was warm even for Forks. With the front door opened it only meant one thing, Charlie was in back.

"Dad?!" I called out. I heard something clang and frowned. "What the hell is going on?"

"Bad word momma!" Rafe squeezed my hand his little face scrunched up in disapproval.

"Sorry,"

"Back here Bells!" I paid the taxi driver and gave him extra to bring my luggage up on the front porch. I walked out back with Rafe and opened the latch to the gate. I couldn't help the big smile that I'm sure was plastered on my face when I saw Charlie standing there by the bar-b-q with a huge smile of his face.

"Granpa!" Rafe let go of my hand and took off running towards his grandfather. I closed the gate behind me sensing something was up but didn't say anything.

"Hey there little buddy!!" Charlie held Rafe close and hugged him tightly. He looked up and smiled at me with tears in his eyes. I smiled back and made my way along the side of the house to get to the back yard. That's when all hell broke loose.

"Welcome home!" A chorus of deep voices and beautiful bell like voices called out from my left. I screamed, nearly jumping out of my skin at the sight of the Cullens and the wolf pack sitting… wait… under the same canopy? I frowned dubiously waiting for the snarling and hissing to start, but there wasn't even a glower.

"Weird," was all I could say before I was engulfed in a big bear hug by Emmett.

"Bella!! I missed you!" He pulled away to look at me and pulled me back into another bone crushing hug, "you've grown up. And you're a milf," I heard chuckles behind me but dismissed them, not understanding the reference and the need to breath being a major priority.

"Emm! Air… Sweet Jesus I'd forgotten about this! Air, Air!!" his arms loosened a little but he didn't let go. I heard more laughter from behind Emmett and before I could see who it was, Emmett passed me over to Carlisle.

"Oh my Isabelle, how we missed you," he set me on the ground and pulled me in close, the kind of hug you get from your dad. I felt the tears coming on but tried to blink them back; it wasn't working. I felt them roll down my cheeks and tried to hide my face in the lapels of his jacket. "It's alright sweetheart, you're home, and you brought a most handsome new member to your family," I smiled at his words and wiped the tears off of my face.

"He's beautiful Bella," Esme was suddenly at my side, a smile brightening her beautiful face.

"Thank you Esme," I smiled and hugged her tightly to me. She laughed and stroked my hair away from my face. Esme and Carlisle had always been like second parents to me.

"What's his name,"

"Rafe,"

"Rafe?" Sam stood from his seat, sporting a grin as opposed to his usual straight face.

"Hi Sam," then saw Emily standing up beside him. "Emily!" I ran and hugged her close until it was her turn to beg for air.

"Sorry," I blushed. My blush darkened when the whole backyard broke out in laughter.

"You know, we missed that blush," Embry grinned, Quil laughing behind him. That's when I got I good look at the pack. While the Cullens' were frozen in their youth, the Quilleute boys had actually grown… again.

"Holy crap, what the hell are you boys eating?!" Quil and Seth burst out laughing, while the rest of the boys passed me around for hugs like a rag doll. I might as well have been. I don't think a single one of them was under six and half feet.

"Momma bad word!" Rafe yelled from Charlie's arms. Laughing heartily Charlie set him down and watched him with a smile as Rafe ran over to me, pulling on my sleeve. "You have to say sorry,"

"You're right, sorry," I squatted down to his height and picked him up. "Rafe, I want to say hi to my friends,"

"Hi momma's friends," he tucked his face in my neck blushing when Alice smiled and cooed at him. "Oh he's adorable!" She came over to me, Jasper holding her hand. Before she reached me she turned back and motioned for someone to come. I was about to ask when I saw Edward. _Oh Lord he's still so beautiful…_ Holding his hand was a beautiful blonde woman whom I immediately remembered as Tanya.

"Bella you remember Tanya from-"

"The Denali family, of course," I smiled and extended my hand. Edward's face, which looked tense and nervous was now relieved as he smiled that beautiful crooked smile I use to love. _Use to_… looking at him now I realized he was a teenage girl's fantasy, nothing more. I was happy he'd moved on with someone of his own kind, he deserved to be happy.

"Hello Bella, hi little one" his smooth voice, still music to my ears didn't inspire the shivers or anticipation that it use to, but was still welcoming none the less. Rafe hid his face in my hair once again and begged to be put down.

"Hi Edward, it's so good to see you. I'm so happy you've found a mate. Sorry about Rafe, he's very shy." I smiled at Tanya who smiled back shyly.

"It's alright, it's a lot to take in for such a little boy," he smiled at him and looked back at me, "he has your eyes. He's going to be a heart breaker,"

Charlie came and interrupted mine and Edward's get together by putting his arm around me while talking to Billy who sat next to Sam. He never was a fan of Edward, but at least he gave him the time of day now that he had Tanya. I looked around, trying to find the face I'd missed so much during my absence but was sorely disappointed.

"He's coming Bella," Sam broke the silence a knowing smile on his face. I blushed, I didn't want him to get the wrong impression. I missed Jake something fierce, as a friend, but I was nowhere ready for what I'm sure he had in mind. I frowned but thought it best to change the subject.

"I see you're all on okay terms, what's that all about?" I knew it was a pathetic way to change the topic but I had to. Talk of relationships and love were the farthest thing on my mind.

Sam frowned, I guess I must have sounded harsher than I meant to but he chose to answer my question but not without giving me a questioning look before. "We decided it was best for both communities if we united and learned fighting tactics from each other. It's worked amazing so far,"

"Yeah we've even worked past the wet dog smell," Emmett laughed while thumping Jared on the back. Any normal human would have flown across the room but Jared shot Emmett a warning look followed by a huff and a chuckle with Kim sitting securely between his legs smiling.

"So Bella, do you know the meaning of the name Rafe?" Billy asked, a knowing smile on his face. I shook my head no.

"I read it in a book and fell in love with the name," Billy smiled, the same smile that Sam had before. The pack fell silent knowing that smile.

"It means 'Wise Wolf' Bella," I swallowed hard knowing where they were all going with this. I honestly expected some sort of set up between Charlie and Billy but this was ridiculous.

"Listen Billy, I know you and my dad have been trying to get Jake and I together, but I'm just not ready," I looked down at my hands, toying with a loose string on my shirt.

"What happened Bella?" Paul's question caught me off guard, I hadn't expected them to not know what happened. Not with Alice. I looked over to her and I saw her worried eyes look me over with a sad smile. I understood then. This was my pain, my story to tell when I was ready, Alice had given me that. I loved her even more if that was even possible.

"What happened to who?" A deep baritone voice came from behind me. I gasped, my heart beating wildly but my mind screamed at me at the same time to keep it in check. I wasn't ready!

I turned to look at what I can only describe as my own personal sun and was immediately engulfed in massive arms and a big warm chest.

"Bells! Oh my god Bells! I missed you so much," he buried his nose in my hair, I could feel him breathing in deep and it sent chills down my spine and red flags in my mind. I hugged him back, not as intensely as I use to and pulled back a little. He seemed confused and little hurt, but kept me at arm's length anyway, and smiled my smile.

"I'm so glad you're back," with that he totally disregarded my previous attempts to not stay so close and lifted me up in his arms, twirling me around in the air making me scream in surprise.

"What'cha doin' to my momma?" Jacob stopped instantly and looked at me and then down at Rafe.

"This your little one?" I nodded and pulled away, squirming to get down. Again he frowned but still didn't say anything. He squatted down so that he wasn't so intimidating and offered his hand to Rafe.

"I'm Jacob. I'm a friend of your mom's," Rafe looked at his giant, than at me looking totally lost and overwhelmed.

"You're really big," he breathed in awe as he carefully put his hand in Jacobs. I smiled at the chuckles behind me and couldn't help but notice how Rafe actually resembled Jacob. I heard some murmurs behind me and caught Billy talking to Sam and Charie while gesturing to my son and his. Apparently I wasn't the only one.

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Don't forget to review! =)


	3. Chapter 3

Hi guys!! Sorry it took me so long to update. My computer died on me, complete hard drive failure! I lost everything, including everything I'd written so far for both of my Twilight fanfics. So yes the following Chapter for "Path to Realization" will be out very soon!

I want to thank those that have stayed and are still enjoying my stories, you guys make it all worth wile and are the most amazing motivators out there. I love you guys =)xox

As always I own nothing, =(  
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**BPOV**

"We need to talk," Jacob's words were like a bucket of cold water. I'd been expecting an inquisition but not on the first day. _Might as well get it over with…_

"Sure, inside?" I motioned to the house and he nodded, letting me take the lead and followed me in to the living room where I sat on the recliner and he sat on the couch. We use to always sit together, watch movies with our limbs tangled up, but things had changed now and he realized it. Another frown, and another hurt look.

"What happened Bells?"

"Alice didn't tell you?"

"She told me the gist of it, now I want to hear the rest from you," I looked up and felt the blood drain from my face, not wanting to go into details.

"Come on Bella, how does someone as careful as you, jump in bed with a stranger after having known him for a few months? "His hands began to shake closing into tight fists. I feared he would phase right here in the living room but saw him take a few deep breaths, calming himself.

"Just please explain it to me," he closed his eyes, looking dangerously close to tears.

"I don't know how to explain it. I thought I could live on my own, away from all of you, but I was wrong." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I was still on a high my first month, marveling that I'd made it to Oxford," I smiled remembering how very proud of myself I was, "but the second month, everything started to sink in. I was alone, no Charlie, no Alice, no Edward, no Jacob," he looked up at his name, his face still a mask of anger and grief. "That was my undoing I guess. I didn't know how to be alone, truly alone and it scared me. I was so use to having someone there looking out for me that for once in my life I was terrified. Then I met Kevin in one of my classes,"

"Kevin, what the hell kind of name is-" his face screwed up in disgust. I knew he was just trying to find anything to dislike, causing an argument. He wanted to let out the anguish he'd been bottling up for the past few years.

"You want to hear this or not?!" his cheeks flushed red in anger but he nodded. "Kevin was a class mate doing the same major and was in most of my classes so we saw a lot of each other. He reminded me so much of you and Edward at the same time that I just latched on to something I knew, something comforting. He was that someone for almost two months; he was my best friend, he looked out for me, and he told me he cared," sighing I dropped my head into my hands. "I should have seen it coming; he was too nice, too sweet... too fast. But I didn't," I looked up again unable to hide the tears I felt forming.

"Bella, it's enough," he put a hand up to stop me I didn't stop. He had wanted to hear the whole story, he was going to get it.

"One night, he called me saying that he needed to see me right away, saying it was urgent, and I believed him. I let him in my apartment and ate up his words of love like the sick masochist I am," the tears kept on running down my cheeks, I didn't brush them off. Like my words, I let them flow.

"Bells, stop," his fists were shaking again.

"He sounded so much like you and Edward, I thought 'finally!' and truly believed I'd found the one person who would love me no matter what," I knew those words would hurt but it was true. Either he or Edward always used the other as a means to hurt me. "Again, I was wrong. Only once he'd finished what he came for did I realize how horribly wrong I was," my last few words died on a sob that racked through my body.

"Please, no more," he stood up, facing away from me, as though he thought if he turned away it would stop the rest.

"The following months were pure hell,"

"Stop!"

"When he found out I was pregnant he went on a rampage throughout the school, spreading lies about my 'deceit', but that was only the beginning. He had his friends follow me, breaking into my home in the middle of the night to -" my words died when I was suddenly jerked out of the recliner.

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**JPOV**

"No more for the love of god!" I kept taking deep breaths, anything to stop the anger and the hurt. I couldn't take it anymore. I turned back around and picked her up and pulling her as close to me as I could, feeling her tears wet my shirt. I must have been holding her too tight, but she didn't say anything.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you," I whispered into her hair, "why did you have to leave? You would have been safe and you wouldn't be a single mother," I felt her stiffen in my arms and wished I could have just bitten my tongue.

"Put me down Jake," she squirmed in my arms until I put her down and turned away from me a hand on her hip. Then she rounded back to me, still crying but not tears of sadness. She was seething.

"You think I regret having Rafe? What you think I should have had an abortion too?" she slowly advanced on me with a look in her eyes the likes of which I'd never seen.

"Well no but – "

"But what? I could have saved myself a whole lot of trouble, right? Is that it?!" I backed up when she started poking me in the chest in her anger. I knew she'd probably break her finger if I stayed close so I backed off. "You listen here Jacob Black, that little boy outside gave me a reason to continue what I'd gone there for in the first place. For once I was the protector and I would have gladly killed any of those pricks if they so much as came close to my child," with that she turned around and left the living room. I heard her go out the front door and a scraping noise told me she'd pulled up a chair.

"Yeah Tammy?" _Tammy? _I walked up quietly to the door and saw she was on her cell phone. I stood to the side to make sure she didn't see me, but I needed to understand what was going on. There had to be more.

"Yeah I made it back," there was pause where she sighed and I saw her rest her head in her hand. "It's just what I expected but I guess I was hoping for different," she sounded almost sad.

"What guy? Oh Jacob, yes he's here," I heard an exasperated sigh and smiled at what she said next, "yes he's still single and yes, he's still so attractive it's completely unfair," my ego shot through the roof as a grin spread over my face. With the way she'd been acting I was almost afraid she wasn't attracted to me anymore.

"Anyway, I've gotta let you go, I've got an eavesdropper I have to scold," she laughed while I wondered how she'd known I was there.

"Jake, will you come out here already," her voice sounded lighter, apologetic.

Sighing I opened the screen door and joined her on the porch. I pulled up a chair beside her and straddled it and had my first real look at her after five years. She looked tired but stronger, much stronger than she had been five years ago.

"Listen, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that," frowning I leaned away from the back of the chair. Seeing me move from the corner of her eye, Bella looked at me.

"What?"

"What the hell are you apologizing for? I'm the one who pushed you farther than I should have. Farther than I had the right to. It's none of my business what happened," her eyes became hard, almost like she thought I was mocking her, pitying her. "But I'm happy you chose to share it with me," her eyes lost some of their hostility but were still cautious.

"I had to tell someone. It was eating me alive not saying anything to anyone except Charlie. You always kept my secrets. I trust you,"

"Bella, this shouldn't be a secret. We should have been there for you when you needed it,"

"A whole bunch of 'shouldas' isn't helping anything Jake. Don't beat yourself up over something that's over,"

The look she gave was that the conversation was over. It was far from over and I had every intention of breaking down those damn barriers she'd put up around herself. I could practically see the wall of distrust, hurt and anger as she eyed me warily.

"What, do I have something on my face?" a smile pulled at the corners of her face, but it looked strained.

"You haven't smiled in a while have you?" I leaned over the back of the chair and brushed her hair out of her eyes. She tensed at my gesture, she even pulled away a little her eyes sizing me up, like she except me to do something else. The heavy feeling sitting in my stomach that had been there since we began talking in the living room became a full on wave of nausea and fury. My hands began to shake, I had to go in the woods before it was too late. I knew I didn't have a chance in hell to keep it in check. That was not the Bella I knew and it made me sick that I could have prevented that.

"Jake-" she looked down at my shaking hands then up at my face, her eyes clouded over with worry. Worry over me, I couldn't help the snort at the irony of it all.

"Don't look at me like that. Bells… just don't," I stood up abruptly, my chair toppling over, almost hitting her knees. I quickly made my way off the porch, not hearing anything she was saying even though I could hear her calling me from the porch. I looked to my side quickly and saw Sam and Paul talking to Charley and the Cullens before following me out to the woods in the backyard.

I'd barely gotten my pants off before I couldn't contain my anger anymore and exploded in my wolf form. I could barely stop the painful and angry howl that followed as I let my legs take over, running through the woods at an ungodly speed. I could hear the voices of Sam and Paul as they phased and followed not far behind me.

_Jake?! What the hell happened man? _ Paul's voice sounded strained.

_What – you gonna pretend you didn't hear what she said? _I couldn't contain the growl in my voice.

_Jacob you can't get angry over something that happened years ago._ Sam's voice was his usual eerie calm.

_Sam she wouldn't let me touch her and kept looking at me like she half expect me to strike her or something. So I'm sorry if I can't help it if the past has turned the woman I love skeptical of everything and everyone around her. Especially me Sam! Me! _

I knew I was speaking to Sam disrespectfully but I had to get it out and I knew he'd understand. He wouldn't take it personally.

_I understand Jacob. Whatever time you need we'll cover for you. I the mean time I suggest we get together with the Cullens and figure out a game plan to get her to open up. It can't be healthy for her to hold all that in._

_I hope you're right Sam. I don't like seeing Bella the way she is, withdrawn and apprehensive. _

_That's what I mean Jacob. She's become that way to keep herself from breaking down. But it's only making it worse. We need to speak with the Cullens; Alice mainly._

_Fine, I'm gonna head home. I need alone time to clear my head._

_Careful Jake_. Paul's voice was calm, which was a rarity in itself, but I knew he was worried about her too.

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**AlicePOV**

I watched Jake and Paul as they came out of the forest, both looking a little off. I knew why, I'd seen it. Heck I heard it all just ten minutes ago. We all did. Except Charlie and Billy of course. We all pretended otherwise and smiled as Rafe played with Charlie, his little legs kicking in delight when his grandfather would pick him up and swing him around in the air.

I felt the wave to calm and happiness radiating from Jasper and smiled my thanks to him.

"Grandpa! Bathroom!" he took hold of Charlie's index finger in his little hand and run up the patio steps to the house.

Once he was out of earshot it was like a big wave of relief passed over all of us. There was only so far we could take the niceties and with Jake gone it made it even harder to pretend like there was nothing wrong.

"Dude, seriously enough with the happy-go-lucky feelings. It's getting weird," Quil eyed Jasper wearily.

"You're telling me, I half expected to break out in hand holdings and 'Kumbayas' any minute now," Emmett sighed then looked over at Rose and put up his arms in surrender. "What?! Don't look at me like that. It's all captain emo's fault,"

Embry and Seth snickered. Jasper's lips twitched in the slightest smile as he stood up next to Emmett. "Captain emo?"

"Totally,"

"I'll remember that next time Rose is angry," he chuckled at Emmett's look of disbelief.

"Seriously?! Not cool,"

"Yeah seriously. I may just be too emo to want to do anything about a little situation like that,"

"Enough!" Esme split the two of them up, while looking back towards the front of the house. "I'll be back. Someone needs to go to Bella," I got up all smiles but Esme gestured back to the bench Jasper and I had been sharing. "A motherly conversation,"

'Humph!' was the only thing that came out of me as I crossed my arms and sat back down. I looked across the table and scowled at the grins from the mutts.

"You really are cute when you're angry," Quil's comment was followed by deep chuckles. My scowl deepened when I heard my own husband's chortle.

"Shut up,"

"Make me,"

I stuck my tongue out at him knowing full well I wouldn't hurt him… much.

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**EsmePOV**

I slowly walked around the side of the house until I spotted Bella reclining back on one of the porch chairs, a frown marring her beautiful face.

"Esme, you could sneak up on me. You smell too nice," I smiled at her, my smile faltering slightly when she opened her eyes. Never had I seen eyes so unyielding and resilient in such a young human, except Edward of course.

"My mother use to always tell me that a young woman's eyes should be filled only with love, joy and thirst for life. I see none of that in yours," I lifted her feet off the chair they rested on and sat down, taking her feet in my lap.

"How can I when I just fucked everything up," blushing, she looked up at me apologetically and I smiled warmly. "Please, I have Emmett as a son,"

"Hey!" came the response from the back of the house.

"Eavesdropping is extremely rude and immature Emmett Cullen," I smiled at Bella's soft laugh. I took the opportunity of her relaxing to take off her shoes much to her dismay but waved off her arguments. I rubbed soothing circles on the soles of her feet and smiled when her eyes glazed over in pleasure.

"Now why do you think you've fudged everything up dear?"

"Well there's being gone for five years, that's a big one,"

"You're a successful lawyer. That must count for something," I smiled as she considered what I was saying.

"I guess, but…" I could see she wanted to say something but was hesitating.

"But what dear?" she looked at me and smiled

"I could never keep anything from you Esme," sighing she sat up straighter in her chair. I let her take her feet out of my lap. "If I hadn't gone I know things would be different. I wouldn't be a lawyer for one, but I'd be happier,"

"Why aren't you happy now? You have a beautiful little boy who is obviously crazy about his mother, a father and friends who love you very much. Plus there's Jacob who-" I knew she's cut me. I'd insinuated his name apart from the others hoping to get a reaction and it worked.

"That's just it. There's Jacob. Jacob who waited for me; Jacob who stood up for me; Jacob who loves me,"

"And may I ask what's so wrong with that?" I caught the look of curious onlookers to my left and made a quick hissing noise that Bella wouldn't hear.

"I'm not the same woman I was five years ago. I don't know if I can ever be that way with someone again,"

"Give it time dear,"

"Contrary to what we're told time doesn't heal all wounds Esme,"

"Maybe not but cunning vampires and werewolves can," just as I said that there was the sound of Jacob coming back from the woods, his heavy wolf body nudged a tree. The poor man ran himself to exhaustion. He must have made it far. Bella was distracted looking at him as he emerged from the woods shirtless, his jeans hanging low on his waist. I cleared my throat, making her jump in the process and blush realizing she'd been caught staring.

"I'm sorry Esme, I didn't catch that,"

"Nothing dear, you should go and rest. You'll have a busy next few days,"

"Why do you say that?"

"I just know," I patted her leg and smiled at her, confusion written all over her face. She may not think she's capable of loving again, but her heart is saying otherwise. We just need to help break the barriers around it to help her heart shout out what it wants.

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Don't forget to review! =)


	4. Chapter 4

Hey guys! From here on out it's going to get _really_ interesting =) Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it.

As always I own nothing.

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JPOV**

I ran through the forest, until I came to a clearing. I could hear the faint noises of the pack behind me and I could smell the leeches nearby. Edward had most likely read my thoughts and knew what I was planning.

"Yes, I have an idea as to what you're planning. I think it's worth the shot,"

"Seriously, you stink. Stay downwind from me if you don't mind," I made a face as he passed by me to stand on the other side of the wind.

"I wouldn't talk mutt," Emmett came out of the forest, his amber eyes dancing with laughter. For a leech, Emmett was a cool guy. Too bad he was already dead. I could make out only three of them; I guess the girls stayed behind with Esme and Carlisle. Just like we'd left Leah at La Push, her moodiness just seemed to be getting worse and worse over the years.

"Yeah yeah," I heard the footsteps of my brothers, coming out into the clearing with me.

"Do any of you actually wear clothes?" Jasper's question had Embry laughing behind me.

"Why?" Embry's grin grew wider. "Does all this manliness make you tingle inside?" Emmett's roar of laughter echoed through the woods while Jasper smirked.

"Good one,"

"I thought so," Embry grinned and crossed his massive arms over his chest.

"Embry," Sam's voice was authoritative but relaxed as he leaned against a tree. His demeanor seemed to have taken a whole one hundred and eighty degree change when we'd finally called a truce.

"Guys can we get down to business?" I tried to keep the smile off my face but I couldn't help but chuckled when I looked at the Cullens and us. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imaged all nine of us here being civilized. Well, as civilized as giant wolves and walking corpses could be, nevertheless, we weren't tearing each other apart.

"What's the plan Jake?" Jared asked from my left.

"I really don't know how else to put this, but Bella needs a little… persuasion," Paul wolf whistled while Quil wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"And you want us to help you how?" Jasper crossed his arms over his chest, clearly amused by all this. I could feel the amusement radiating from him in waves.

"Little Jakey needs help with the ladies," Embry quirked and eyebrow and chuckled when I shot him a dark look.

"All joking aside, Bella means the world to me," I hung my head in resignation and felt a cold hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Edward a few inches from me with a worried look on his face.

"We understand Jacob; Bella means a lot to us all and we want to see her happy, especially after all she's gone through. Just let us know how we can help,"

"Well, this is what I was thinking,"

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**BPOV**

I drove over to the Oil City real estate law firm, according to Sue Clearwater there was a job opening there a few days ago. I'd been hesitant at first; Oil City was much closer to La Push than Forks, that meant most likely looking for a house out in La Push.

"I don't like it," I spoke out loud what I knew my mind had been screaming at me since I came back to Forks, but secretly, in my heart I was excited about the possibilities of moving to La Push.

"What the hell?" I pulled into the parking lot of Peterson & Langdon estate law firm and viciously threw my car into park. Quil and Seth were leaning against Jake's old rabbit. They winced at the sight of my frown, making me almost feel bad. Almost.

"That thing is still alive?!" I walked around the beat up rabbit unconsciously running my hand along his hood and roof. I caught myself caressing the driver door at the thought of all the fond memories I shared with Jake in this car. I blushed and cleared my throat at when I realized I was lost in space then turned a darker shade of red when I saw Quil and Seth's grins. The pack more than anyone else knew just how much Jake and anything affiliated with Jake affected me.

"Yeah, Jake takes good care of her," Seth patted the hood, his massive hand surprising me. I still remembered him as a small teenage boy. Now he was almost Jake's size and just as handsome. "So mom told me you had an interview here. We're here to wish you luck,"

I quirked an eyebrow at them,

"Really?" I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned against the rabbit. "Seriously what is this all about?" Quil's grin widened as he feigned insult.

"Why Bella I'm hurt. We're just here to wish a good friend of ours good luck in a very important interview,"

"Okay now I know something's up," I walked up to Quil until I was a few inches from him. "That was way too polite to be legitimate,"

"Did you just call me rude?"

"Nope, just very very straightforward," I walked past them and was about to enter the building then Seth called out.

"Hold on Bells," I turned back around and couldn't help but smile at Seth, he still looked so young and sweet. "What time is your lunch hour at?" I raised an eyebrow at his question.

"From one to two, I like to eat when the lunch rush is over. Why?" I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at suspiciously.

"Just wondering is all," he grinned and left.

"What the hell is going on?" I muttered on my breath, I heard chuckling from the rabbit, completely having forgotten that they could hear me.

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**One week later,**

Sue had offered her services as a babysitter for Rafe. Her eyebrows had shot up at the salary I was offering to pay her and I had wave her off when she insisted it was too much. She needed the money more than me, especially since Harry died, he'd been the main source of income.

My first week of work at the firm was going smoothly, everyone was nice and I was setting up for my first case. I couldn't wait for when Tammy would be showing up at the end of the week, I could really use her right about now, I missed her terribly, more so when I tried to find my files in the folders she's organized. I still had to try and figure out her system, I swear the woman must have been an secret service agent or something.

I was about to go on my lunch break when I was called to the front at reception. On my way there I noticed desks that were occupied before were now empty. _Where is everybody?_ I stopped dead in my tracks by the receptionist's desk at the sight of the back of a large bear of man with short curly dark brown hair. No way, it's not him, it's a mistake.

"Sorry girls, I'm taken," my eyes widened.

"Emmett?" he turned around and grinned at me.

"Damn Bella," he eyed me up and down and grinned. "I love a woman in a suit," I blushed bright red and pulled down the edge of my silk blouse uncomfortably. He chuckled at my discomfort and pulled me into a big bear hug in front of everyone.

"Come here girl," he took the opportunity to whisper, "you're getting a lot of envious looks Bells. I wonder why?" he grinned like the handsome devil he was.

"Cocky bastard," I hissed. He chuckled and hugged me closer to him. "Air Em, we humans live on air," I made sure to whisper the last part.

Joanne, my coworker from two offices down came over and smiled shyly at Emmett and blushed a dark red when he smiled back.

"Bella, you never introduced us to your boyfriend,"

"My what?! Oh no! no no no no no," I hushed Emmett when he laughed at my flustered expression.

"This is my friend, Emmett. He's married," I emphasized on the last part and rolled my eyes at the disappointed sighs, more when he pulled me close in a one armed hug and boomed out.

"Come on Bells, I'm taking you out to lunch. My treat,"

"But I have-"

"Go Bella, we'll cover for you," I turned to my mutinous coworker and sighed in defeat.

"Fine, but nowhere expensive or I'm leaving,"

"Don't worry Bells, I'll keep it under seventy-five dollars,"

"What!" he burst out laughing as he steered me out the door towards his jeep.

"I'm kidding," he opened the door to his jeep for me and just before he was about to close it he grinned mischievously. My eyes widened in shock.

"No you're not!" I shouted as he closed the door. I watched him walk around the car at a human pace and huffed when he came in.

"Yeah, I know but you love me anyways,"

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**EmPOV**

_**South North Gardens Inc.**_** Forks**

I sighed in disappointment as Bella put down her menu and glared at me. I knew she hated surprises, more so when money was spent in said surprise.

"Emmett, this is a five star restaurant what were you thinking?"

"I heard they have great ribs,"

"You don't eat human food!"

"No but you do and you could use a full rack of ribs," she frowned and looked away from me. "Bella, you look emaciated. How much do you weigh? Like eighty pounds?"

"One hundred and twenty for your information and I'm having a western sandwich,"

"You can do better than a western sandwich. You need to eat, I feel like could break you over my knee," I felt bad that I was making her angry but someone had to tell the girl. The circles under her eyes were starting to look darker than mine.

"You could regardless of my size and I happen to enjoy western sandwiches,"

"If you say so," I waved down the waiter, "she'll have the rack of ribs with a side of mashed potatoes and salad. You like salad right?" I grinned at the glares that were being shot in my direction but kept on like it was nothing else. The girl had to lighten up, "oh and a bottle of red wine, you're finest. An entrée of garlic bread, the day's soup and a slice of pecan pie for desert,"

"Very good sir, and for you?"

"Oh I'm just here for moral support," the waiter didn't even bat an eyelash as he took everything down and left abruptly. Damn these tight asses, he could probably use the wine too.

I turned back to my lunch guest and grinned at the deadly glare.

"You're so lucky I like Rose,"

"You'll thank me later,"

* * *

**Forty five minutes later,**

I closed Bella's cell phone after having called her in sick for the rest of the day and was very happy with what I saw.

My eyebrows shot up when Bella finished the last of the ribs and the wine, sucking the sauce from the ribs off her fingers with a loud pop sound then gulped down the rest of the wine. The soup was finished, as well as the garlic bread.

"I'm impressed," I grinned as she smiled at me, albeit it was lopsided, but it looked like a happy satiated smile, now to work on her other appetite.

"So I heard Jake learned to make a mean fish fry from Billy," I smiled at the interest that shone in her eyes.

"Oh yeah?" her words were slurring and she was swaying slightly; time to play.

"Yeah I bet it isn't the only thing he's good at," a sly lopsided grin spread over her face at my innuendos.

"I'm sure it isn't," she grinned and hid her face in her napkin. I chuckled when her eyes lit up with mischief and she leaned over the table to tell me something. Yeah she was gone, or else she'd know to just whisper it. "I saw Jake naked once when he was phasing and he's very well built if you get my drift," she wiggled her eyebrows at me and I tried not to gag at the mental images of Jacob naked. "There nights where I'd get off just by imagining his chest and abs the dip that leads down to-"

"Okay! Cheque please," Mission accomplished, Bella was definitely still interested. Now, to get her to open up without all the booze.

* * *

**BPOV**

"What the hell happened?" I turned over onto my back on the couch."Where am I?"

"You're home at granpa's momma," I looked up to Rafe's sweet face. "Uncle Emmy brought you home,"

"Uncle Em-" that's when everything came back to me. The massive lunch, the wine, the thoughts of Jacob naked-

"Oh shit!" I sat up quickly and groaned holding my head when everything spun.

"Momma bad word!"

"Rafe, sweetie, there are times when adults use bad words to make themselves feel better,"

"Yeah momma," he looked at me, I could practically see the wheels turning in his quick little mind.

"Like now, momma needs to feel better," I rested my forehead in my palm and tried my best not to scream at what I'd revealed to Emmett, the biggest loud mouth there was.

"Can I say them too?"

"No,"

"Okay,"

* * *

The next day I went in extra early and finished everything I'd started the day before. Just as I put last night's lasagna into the microwave someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned and screamed at the sight of two huge Quilleute boys right in front of me.

"What the fuck?!" I panted, holding a hand to my chest. Embry and Quil grinned at me, holding a paper bag out to me. I looked them over again and noted that they were actually dressed. "At least you guys are wearing t-shirts,"

"Yeah well don't get too use to it, the minute we're outside they're coming off," Quil flexed his arms uncomfortably in the tight confines of his black t-shirt, then grinned at the lustful gasps we heard from the office. "By the way,we brought you lunch, let's go eat outside. We saw a park right near here," before I could reply, Crystal, another coworker who worked upstairs came in the kitchen with a very curious look on her face.

"Bella?" I looked around the two massive bodies and waved at her.

"Hey Crystal, how are you doing?" I asked nervously as I squeezed myself between them.

"Good, I could ask you the same question,"

"Oh I'm fine thanks,"

"I bet you are," she grinned as she eyed my two friends up and down like she'd like nothing more than to jump them.

"Please don't feed their egos, the planet couldn't take it," they frowned at me and I laughed at their miffed expressions.

"Crystal, meet the banes of my existence; Quil and Embry,"

"Nice to meet you guys, well I hope you all have a great lunch," she sat down and tugged on my blouse as I passed by, "you and I so have to talk and exchange phone numbers before you leave,"

" Yeah, right, let's do that," I continued on my way out with Quil and Embry right behind me, grinning like idiots at all the attention they were getting. but stopped at Joanne's office. "There's lasagna in the microwave if you want it,"

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Don't forget to review =)


	5. Chapter 5

Hi guys! Thank you so much for all the great reviews! Thank you all so much!! You guys rock! =)

As always I own nothing... sigh

* * *

**BPOV**

I sat down on a nearby bench, Embry sat next to me and draped one massive arm along the back of the bench while Quil decided to sit on one end of a see-saw. I looked at the massive feast of a lunch Quil and Embry had brought and didn't know if my poor pencil skirt would still fit afterwards.

"Guys this is too much, I can't eat all of this," sure the stuff in the paper bag, which was Jake's now infamous fish fry was a large portion, except for the fact that Quil had stopped at the rabbit on the way to the park and had taken out a reusable bag. The thing was full of tupperwares filled with fried zucchini, home fries, strawberry cheese cake and a few beers.

"Please tell me you guys are having some of this,"

"Nope," Embry's smile widened at my stunned expression. "We're under strict orders to make sure you finish all of this,"

**

* * *

**

**EmbryPOV**

I hated to say it but the bloodsucker was right. The loose t-shirt jeans had hid what her silk blouse and pencil skirt couldn't; skin and bones. The girl needed some padding. I grinned at her flustered expression while I handed her the fish fry to try first. I felt my mouth water at the look of pleasure when she closed her mouth over the meat. Jake had seriously perfected his dad's recipe and I was going to make sure Jake pays up when we get back. Watching Bella eat what was now my favorite dish was downright torture.

I smiled when she leaned back against the bench, not caring that my arm was draped behind her. I looked at Quil who looked just as pleased as I was that she was still so comfortable with us.

"What are you smirking at?" Bella's suspicious voice was low as she tried to speak around her mouthful. "Did you spit in it? If you spit in this so help me god there will be hell to pay,"

Quil burst out laughing, leaning back against the see-saw in his mirth.

"We didn't spit in it Bells," still laughing Quil sat up again and leaned over the edge of his until his hand came in contact with hers. "We're just happy to see that some things haven't changed,"

When she frowned I brought her in for a one armed hug and pulled her close. She didn't bat an eyelash at my gesture; she just let me pull her in and smiled contentedly against my warmth.

"This is what we mean Bells," she looked up at me clearly confused. "You're still comfortable with us,"

"How could I not be? I mean it's you guys, the pack," it almost seemed like a logical answer, like we should have known it all along.

Quil handed beers around to all three of us. Bella took a long sip of her beer to wash down the last of the fish fry, then I gave her the zucchini.

"Did Jake make this too?" I smiled and nodded as she closed her eyes again, moaning at the taste of the zucchini.

"Where did he learn to cook like this?"

"Sue and Emily,"

"I should have known," she smiled, looking truly happy as she finished the last of it and took another sip of her beer.

"Yeah but there's a difference when he cooks," I chuckled still remembering what Billy's kitchen looked like when we left.

"Yeah, there isn't anything left to identify when he's done," I grinned when she burst out laughing. "You should do that more often," I said, referring to her laughter.

"I do," she looked down at her food a pensive look on her face.

"Not around us," I tried to hide the hurt in my voice but it was rather of hard.

"I love you guys, I really do, I just haven't really had anything to laugh about until now," looking down at her now empty Tupperware then back up at us she had a big smile on her face. "I really missed you guys. I missed this,"

"We miss us too sometimes Bells. It's hard being a sexual icon and not miss yourself sometimes" Quil's exaggerated sigh brought on another fit of giggles from Bella until she snarfed her beer. "Nice. Big tough lawyer snarfs her own beer, well at least you can walk in high heels without causing bodily harm to yourself,"

When her laughter finally died down I lightly tapped her back.

"Quil man, you're killin' the poor girl," I chuckled as I wrapped my arm around her once more when she was able to breathe again.

"We wouldn't want that, Jake'll flay us alive," I frowned a little when she winced.

"Bells?"

"C-Can we talk about something else?" I pulled back a little and put my hand under her chin, making her look at me.

"You know Jake loves you right?" I saw the slight redness of her eyes as she nodded and knew she was close to tears.

"Hey now, none of that," Quil stood up from his perch and sat on her other side. "What's going on Bells? Is this about that Kevin character?"

"Yeah, he's got nothing to do with this," another tear slid down her cheek and her breath became erratic.

"Then what's wrong? You know you can talk to us," Quil took her hand in his and rubbed it soothingly.

"I- I've caused Jake so much hurt over the years, I don't if he'd take me back even if I wanted him to," she wiped the tears away. "Plus there's always the possibility of imprinting, I know you've imprinted Quil, Sue told me all about little Claire," Quil smiled at the mention of Claire's name. "I can't wait to meet her, even if she is the same age as Rafe. Maybe we can arrange play dates," she giggled through her tears. I knew she was trying to put on a brave face, but I wasn't having any of it.

"Jake hasn't imprinted yet Bells if that's what you're worried about, and it's the last thing on his mind,"

"That doesn't mean it won't happen,"

"I haven' imprinted. Neither has Seth,"

* * *

**BPOV**

"If he imprinted I don't know what I'd do," I leaned down until my elbows were resting on my knees. I let my head hang between my shoulders and took deep breaths trying to calm my racing heart and compose myself before I went back in. "What a mess. Seriously, I don't know if I'm ready to jump back in the saddle again after everything that happened with Kevin," I glared at Quil who looked like he was just about to make a comment. "It's really not easy being on both sides of the problem,"

"What do you mean?" Embry rubbed soothing circles on my back, letting me take my time to let it out.

"Afraid to be hurt, knowing how it feels, and knowing that I've caused the one person I care about the most the same kind of hurt time and time again. It makes me want to be sick," Embry sighed and hung his head in thought, he'd always been the realistic one next to Sam.

"Give it a chance Bells. I'm not going to lie and say you didn't do a number on him, but trust me when I say that he's not giving up on you, I mean look at everything he's cooked for you today," Embry waved out to veritable feast before me and picked up the tupperware still holding raspberry cheesecake.

"Here, eat this, you'll feel better," I laughed as I leaned back between the two goofballs I loved so much and ate my cake in silence taking their words into consideration.

"Besides, Jake's fantasies are starting to get boring. We need new material," Quil's statement was finished with a wolfish grin as my blush got darker and darker.

I quickly finished my desert and returned to work with both big Quileute men trailing behind me.

"Oh Bells,"

"Yeah?" she leaned against the secretary's desk.

"Sue's having a bonfire at her place on Saturday and said she's invited Charlie over. Would you like to come too?" While Embry was talking to me, Quil smiled at Diane, our forty something year old receptionist, and I swear I heard her moan from behind her desk. The wolf was such a whore.

"I'd really like that," thoughts of Jake being there making me a little nervous, but much less than before." Should I bring something?" another moan and a giggle from behind the desk, that's when I saw her romance novel with a picture of some dark skinned man holding a fainting woman. _Oh lord…_

"Just yourself Bells," I smiled at Embry and gave them both kisses on the cheek before I turned back around and frowned at the glare I was getting from Diane.

* * *

**JPOV**

"So did she like it?" I met Quil and Embry in the clearing anxious to see what they'd talked about.

"Does this answer your question?" Quil held up the bag I'd given them, now full of empty tupperwares. "The girl's got one hell of an appetite, and she's coming at Sue's bonfire on Saturday,"

"Thanks guys, I can't thank you guys enough,"

"Just get the girl Jake, we just want to see you happy,"

But first things first, the initial step of my plan was working beautifully. I could tell from the guys that she was starting to open up, loosen up and get back to her normal pace. Now what she really needed to complete it would be a little bonding time-

"I have an idea," I told them my plan and then ran back into the forest anxious to get my patrol done as thoughts of Bella raced through my mind. I may have been unintentionally been rough at first when she first came back and gone into details about that lowlife but I wanted her to know that I'd love her no matter what. I continued to run through the forest, the feel of the dirt beneath my paws and wind on my face refreshing my senses.

I grinned, ecstatic that she'd be at the bonfire, and now that I knew where she was going to be at lunch for the next few days that would give me a chance to sneak into her bedroom tomorrow night to hide the dreamcatcher I made for her behind the headboard of her bed. I had done some research this afternoon and found an old Quileute legend about different kinds of dreamcatcher and found just the one I needed. _Bella Swan, by the end of this week you will be mine._

* * *

**BPOV**

The rest of the week continued with more surprise lunch visits. After Quil and Embry I was surprised to find Emily, Kim and Leah waiting for me at reception. Surprisingly Leah was very pleasant, friendly even. I wasn't the only one who was surprised, Emily and Kim seemed just as surprised. I wondered what it all meant but thought nothing of it. Maybe she'd finally gotten over Sam and Emily?

The next day was Jasper and Edward, then Paul and Jared the next. Basically every female member of the staff at the firm was coming up near reception at one in the afternoon hoping to get a glimpse of who was coming in next. Except for when the girls had stopped by. At the site of Leah; tall, lean, and very exotic looking, a few of the guys from accounting thought it was worth a shot to put their cheap moves on her starting with a really lame pick-up line that had Emily laughing. Leah hadn't had a problem telling where exactly he could stick his pick-up lines.

* * *

**Friday evening  
**

I lay in my old bed unable to fall asleep as my mind was racing, replaying everything that had happened this last week. Honestly, I was feeling refreshed, healed almost in all ways but one. Jake.

The feelings and dreams I'd had last night about Jake had left me sweat, hot and bothered, craving for Jacob's touch and oh so much more. One too many times today I had to take care of myself; in the shower this morning, in the private bathroom before break and after lunch. I could feel the familiar burn in my core now as I lay in bed. I rubbed my thighs together trying to alleviate the ache but I knew only one thing would do. Thoughts of those hands on my skin left me unsatisfied in my bed, burning for more.

"Enough!" I almost yelled at myself, I could feel the perspiration already beading on my forehead. I had to get to sleep.

* * *

_**Dreaming...**_

I woke up to the feeling of something warm running over my forearm, making my skin rise in goose bumps. I reached out to brush off whatever it was only to have my hand captured by a large, very warm hand.

My eyes shot open, a gasp escaping my lips as an extremely familiar pair of lips pressed a kiss in the palm of my hand, setting my skin on fire and my heart racing.

"I've been waiting a very long time for you," his voice was deeper than normal and had a slight echo to it, like he was far away, or like – I was dreaming! I gasped again as his lips touched the pulse at my wrist; the feel of his lips was very real, but everything around us looked hazy. I had to be dreaming.

"I didn't mean to make you wait so long Jake. I was so confused back then, I didn't know what I wanted," I felt his lips on my neck and turned my head away, offering him more of what he sought.

"And now?" his lips left a burning hot trail down the column of my neck to my collar bone and back up to my ear.

"Now? I'm scared Jake, scared that you won't love me anymore after everything I've put you through, after what happened when I was away," the last word of my sentence died on a moan as he nibbled on my earlobe, his hot breath blowing in my ear setting my nerves on fire.

"I will always love you Bella, you are my heart, my soul, my entire being," he let go of my ear and made a patch from my jaw up to my lips. I looked up at him, my breath caught in my throat at how beautiful he truly was, how strong. He slowly bent his head down to mine and claimed my lips with his, his lips coaxing mine open with his delicious tongue. I moaned into his mouth when he slipped a leg between my thighs and applied pressure to my core with his knee.

"Are you still undecided or scared?" I shook my head as his large yet gently hands lifted my tank top high enough to reveal the undersides of my breasts. I moaned and arched up off the bed as he ran his hands up and down from my ribcage to my pubic bone.

"Good, because you're mine," his lips claimed mine again in a soul searing kiss as he applied more pressure to my core with his powerful thighs and captured both my hands in one of his and held them high above my head.

"I think it's time I made you mine, my love," his voice was like sweet honey to my ears as he continued to stroke my heated flesh. Before I could say anything I felt a delicious burning sensation on my pubic bone that made me writher in pleasure.

"All mine," his growl of pleasure sent shivers down my sensitized body. "Look," I opened my eyes and almost felt myself loose it completely at the lustful look in his eyes. He looked down to where his hand still rested, urging me to look as well. I looked down and smiled as he removed his hand.

"Now there isn't a question as to whom you belong to love," there was a mark where his hand had been, it was a little darker than a beauty mark but shaped like a wolf howling to the moon.

* * *

I woke up with a start, the familiar ache now almost unbearable. I could still feel the burn on my pubic bone like it had actually happened. Sighing, I pulled back the covers and got up to go to the bathroom, needing a very cold shower.

I pulled off my soaked tank top and boxers and almost fainted. The mark was real, it was there on my skin.

* * *

Don't forget to review =) Thanks guys!


	6. Chapter 6

Hi everyone!! I wanted to thank you guys so much for all the reviews I got. You guys seriously are awesome, the best motivation a girl could have. If I could I'd hug each and all of you. Hope you enjoy this, sorry I forgot to put up a warning about the lemon at the end of the last chapter =( I'll be more careful from now on.

As always, I own nothing...

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**JPOV**

**Saturday afternoon, **

"You what?!" I could feel the tremors course through my body at what Embry had just said, but calmed down when Emily patted my arm and urged me to sit at the table.

"Listen Jake, the girl was already pretty beat up thinking you wouldn't want to be with her after everything she'd done when that leech was around, so I thought the last thing she should worry about is imprinting even if it is happening more often than the legends suggest," he closed his eyes and sighed. "I didn't want her to get any more upset than she already was,"

"You can't make light of imprinting Embry, you can really hurt someone that way," Emily looked from us to Leah who was sitting outside on the porch looking out into the forest. Sighing she looked back at me, "besides, Jake has direct Alpha lineage to the pack, so it's inevitable," I tensed at her words not wanting to believe it but knowing it was true. I hated it that at any moment I could imprint on some woman who wasn't my Bella.

Just when I was about to say something a little hand reached out for mine and tugged. I looked down to see a very sleepy Rafe. Bella had called Sue saying there were some things she had to finish at the firm before she made it out here and Charlie was out of town on police business, so Sue had told her to drop him off. The only problem was that Sue had received an important call about some matters regarding some of Harry's arrangements with the Rez that needed her immediate attention, and so he was dropped here. I squatted down to the little boy and smiled at him.

"Hey there little man, what's up?" he smiled and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"When's momma comin'?" he peeked outside, his gaze riveted back to Leah time and time again. I could feel some sort of energy surging in the room as he kept looking outside. I looked up at Emily and Sam. Both looked just as puzzled.

"She'll be here soon Rafe," I ruffled his dark hair, earning a laugh from the little boy and got up.

I looked back out the window to Leah and saw her tense shoulders slump in what almost looked like defeat.

"What the hell is going on with that girl?" Embry stood up as well and came to stand next to me just as Leah rose from her spot and made her way to the front door and into the house. I frowned at the look on her face, like she was ashamed and defeated, but at the same time she looked… happy. My thoughts reflected Embry's; _What the hell is goin' on with that girl?_

"Leah?" Emily looked from her cousin to me and back at Rafe whose little face had broken out into a big smile, he was even reaching out to her with his little arms to be picked up. She'd been acting very strange lately; she had insisted on doing patrol solo, which most of us had been thankful for. We all assumed it was because she realized how much we were getting really tired of her resentment, now I realized it was to hide something. I should of know, she was a little too friendly around Rafe and Bella, even the Pack as a whole but we hadn't thought anything of it. We just thanked our lucky stars for the sudden letup of her hateful attitude towards everyone.

She looked up and her dark eyes met the chocolate brown ones of the little boy across the room and all the energy I'd felt before seemed to concentrate between the two of them, like a strong magnetic pull that even Leah couldn't resist. She took hesitant steps towards Rafe, her steps becoming more and more surer the closer she got until she fell to her knees in front of three year old.

"I'm so sorry Rafe," her head was hung low and her voice cracked with emotion. _Is she crying? _ "I knew I wouldn't be able to fight it, and that I shouldn't try but I wanted so hard to deny what was destined for us. I don't know why I doubted it, but I don't anymore. Do you forgive me? ," she looked up and Emily gasped at the tears she saw there.

That's when it hit me; she'd imprinted on Rafe but had been fighting it with all her might. That's why she had been so different, the pull she felt to Rafe was so strong she couldn't deny the all consuming love since she'd imprinted. Her happiness must have been due to her submission to the imprint, but her fear of rejection since the little boy seemed to feel it too. That explained why he kept looking at her like he'd lost his best friend. He had, and so much more.

"It's okay Lee-Lee," I chuckled at Rafe's name for Leah, earning me a glare from said woman. I knew he didn't understand more than three quarters of what she'd just told him but he looked like she'd just offered him his favorite dessert.

"Sorry," I held up my hands in surrender not wanting to be mauled by a she-wolf.

Rafe smiled and brushed his hands over Leah's face, and then into her hair where he played with the short strands of thick black hair. Leah's eyes were closed, a look of pure love shone on her face. She put a tentative hand on Rafe's little shoulder and gasped at what Sam and Emily described as the electrical current coursing through each others body at the first touch as imprints. Rafe felt it too, he giggled and threw his arms around Leah's neck and hugged her tight.

"I love you Lee-Lee,"

"I love you too Rafe," they stayed like for what seemed like an eternity until Leah pulled away and motioned to all the food on the table. "Are you hungry? Would you like a muffin?"

"Not now Lee-Lee! Backyardigans is on! Come we have to watch Backyardigans!" I chuckled at the idea of Leah watching anything on the _Treehouse_ channel, earning me another glare, but I grinned back. I was happy for her, I truly was. Perhaps now the moodiness was finally over for good. We could only hope.

Emily looked at Leah and Rafe, both of which were lying on the sofa, Leah's protective arm keeping him close to her, a smile of genuine happiness shining on her face. She truly was stunning when she smiled, she just didn't do it often enough.

"That is why you don't make light of imprinting," Emily pointed to the two people on the couch while glaring daggers at Embry.

* * *

**BPOV**

I drove up to Sue's place to pick up Rafe only to find a note saying she was sorry but she had a very important matter to attend so she'd left Rafe in the care of Emily and Sam. I got back in my car and drove down to Sam and Emily and frowned at the unfamiliar dark green, almost black mustang in the driveway. _Who is that?_

My question was soon answered at the sound of booming laughter coming from the house; Jacob.

My heart beat wildly at the thought of seeing him again. I had to thank him for those wonderful meals and maybe even invite him over for supper, _amongst other things_…

I blushed at where my train of thoughts was going and shook my head to clear it of the wicked thoughts and images, especially when I was about to enter someone else's house. Never mind the fact that I probably already had a really dark blush by now. The mark on my hip really began to throb, like I was stung. I rubbed it to alleviate the painful feeling but it just wasn't going away if anything it was getting stronger. I turned to go back to my car and grab a Tylenol or two when it suddenly went away and I was enveloped in strong arms and lifted off the ground.

I screamed in surprise, dropping my purse on the ground in the process.

"Easy Bells, you'd think I was trying to steal you away or something," I gulped, that voice. I almost wished he was, he was so warm and inviting. _Whoa! _My mind had been running wild since last night, images that surpassed my own imagination. _What is going on?!_

His voice was in my hair near my ear, whispering. I didn't hear exactly what he was saying but I didn't care. I loved how he felt and the bugger knew he effect he had on me; I knew that from the grin I felt against my hair.

"Jake, you perv-" I turned and looked up into his face and gasped. It was like everything around us stopped, the only thing that existed at this very moment was the two of us. It felt like my soul had finally connected to the one and only person that was right for me; Jacob.

His beautiful face broke out into the most breathtaking smile I'd ever seen. "Finally!" he shouted out into warm fall air.

"Huh?" was the only thing I could manage. Pretty lame but honestly I couldn't find my voice for the life of me. He was just so beautiful it took my breath away, _how did I not see that before?_ I put my hand up to touch his face but pulled back quickly; afraid that maybe he didn't want me to touch him.

Grinning like a madman, he captured my hand and brought it back to his face, his eyes closed in what can only be described as sheer pleasure when our skins touched. I gasped at the shock I felt, like an electrical jolt had just shot through my body lighting it on fire.

"Wh- What was that?" I didn't say anything when he pulled me closer, I actually wanted him to pull me even tighter to his glorious body if that was even possible.

"I, my dear, have just imprinted, on you," he had the most beautiful smile, like he was finally happy with the world and his place in it. Truth was, he finally was happy.

"You what? This fast? How?" I tried to stop myself from rambling but I couldn't help it. One minute everything was normal – well as normal as it could be. Then I have these mind blowing sensual dreams that leave me with a mark on my pelvis that I just realized throbbed when Jake was near and that I just can't seem to explain for the life of me. Now my best friend, who had loved me since I was teenager and who I have loved as a teenager has imprinted on me. All of this happening in the small space of time since I'd gotten back from England. This was a little too fast for me but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Jake's deep chuckle brought me back to reality, his adam's apple bobbing up and down in front me, the thick muscles of his neck and shoulders flexed with each move of those glorious arms. How I wanted to reach forward and tongue his adam's apple then that small spot between his shoulder and neck and_ Whoa!!! Down girl!_

"It can happen at anytime honey. Just thank your lucky star we know each other. Jared didn't know Kim when he imprinted on her. She avoided him for nearly a month before she gave in, she was convinced he was he was some kind of serial killer or creepy stalker," his smile was just so disarming I didn't want to look away but I knew I needed time to sort this out. Don't get me wrong I had the full intention of sorting this out with Jacob, in private, but I had a little boy to think of. I couldn't just get mine and forget about Rafe.

I pulled away from Jake and instantly felt cold and lonely as I walked up to the house.

"Where are you going?" Jake's voice was close behind me, but it still seemed too far; he wasn't touching me.

"Inside, I just want to see Rafe,"

"He's in good hands," I turned and frowned at him, nearly bumping into his massive chest in the process. Sam and Embry both sported big grins; they must have felt what had happened outside, but we could talk about that later tonight at the bonfire.

"Of course he's in good hands, he's with Emily," I turned and saw Emily by the counter, her cheeks flushed a pretty pink.

"Where's Rafe?"

"He's with Leah," Sam's voice was subdued, like the silence before the storm.

"Leah?! What the hell?! She doesn't know the first thing about kids!" I brushed Jake and Embry aside but stopped dead in my tracks when I walked into the living room. Leah and Jake had fallen asleep on the couch, Leah's body was curved protectively around Rafe's little body, like she loved h-

"Her too?!" I didn't realize how high my voice was until Emily put her finger in front of her lips, urging me to be quiet. I knew I should have been angry, furious even, but having felt the awesome power first hand, the powerful tie to another person that would have incomprehensible to me if I hadn't experience it, I knew I had no cause to be angry.

"Yeah, about a half hour before you arrived," Jacob's voice was right behind me, I could feel the warmth of his body he was so close. I nodded but couldn't find anything to say, I was still so shocked at the sudden turn of events. I shook my head again trying to make sense of the tumult of emotions raging inside me since the imprinting out in the driveway and wondered, _will it always be like this, this yearning to always want to be near each other?_

I unconsciously backed up a step just as I'd shivered from the cool temperature and nearly jumped out of my skin when I came into contact with Jacob's chest. He chuckled while nuzzling my hair, the hot temperature of his body soothing my cold one. I couldn't contain the contented sigh that escaped my mouth when his big warm hands and arms came around my waist to pull me closer.

That was when I was sure that it wasn't so bad to want Jacob so close to me for the rest of my life, and be wanted by such a man in turn. A slow smile spread over my face as I leaned back, _not bad at all._

"Well, it may not have been what Leah wanted but she sure doesn't seem to be complaining now," Emily's sweet voice was right next to me and made me jump. I hadn't realized she was there, I was too engrossed in the man behind me.

She laughed softly at my surprise while looking back at Sam with a meaningful look which he returned with a grin of his own and a deep chuckle while he settled down at the table.

I thought about what Emily had just said and contemplated over a few things regarding imprinting. Both parties, human and werewolf, didn't get to choose who they wanted to live the rest of their lives with, but once the imprinting was done that was left up to human and the werewolf would stand by their mate's decision.

Having someone so strong and loyal love you unconditionally was incredible and overwhelming in itself, the things that young girls dreamed of. It was also dangerous if one wasn't careful. My thoughts went back to Emily with the ragged scars across her beautiful face but I knew that Sam had trained them hard and trained them well.

I knew Rafe couldn't be safer with Leah than if I'd locked him up in a room full of Navy Seal, but that wasn't the only thing that comforted me. That fact that Leah would be there for him in ways that I never could later on in life pacified my worried mind.

"Well, we'd better get goin' on the bonfire," Sam's booming voice made me jump, I looked back to Rafe and Leah and smiled when he looked like he was gone to the world, having what must have been one of his best naps. I looked at Leah and saw her looking back at me, a sheepish look on her face. I smiled at her, not wanting to wake up Rafe, but I wanted her to know that I wasn't angry, far from it. A look of intense relief that made me laugh came over her just before she lay her head back down on the couch and held Rafe just a little closer to her.

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Don't forget to review! =)


	7. Chapter 7

Hi everyone! Here's a chapter full of answers for those of you who have had many questions =)

Hope you enjoy it!!

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**BPOV**

Rafe had woken up and was now playing in the sand box with Claire while the rest of the pack was down by the water playing volleyball, trying their best not to bust the ball. It was really funny seeing Quil and Leah actually sitting together, and getting along. I watched, entranced by Leah's look of sheer love and devotion to my little boy.

I could feel _his_ eyes on me from the water's edge; I knew it was him by the hot jolt of pleasure that shot up my spine and the way my mark throbbed. That reminded me…

"Hey Emily?" She looked up from her seat between Sam's legs, her cheeks flushed. I grinned at the cute couple and instantly felt like I was intruding. Sam's smile put me at ease as he cocked his head in question.

"Hmm?"

"What do you guys know about dreamcatchers and markings?" Emily's face broke out in shock and amazement.

"Did it work?" she looked me up and down like she was trying to find something. That's when her words sunk in and it hit me.

"You knew?!" Emily blushed at my shocked expression.

"You needed a bit of a push," then a grin spread over her beautiful face. "How graphic were they?"

"A little too graphic thanks," I could feel a blush spreading over my cheeks and looked down, hoping that no one else had noticed or heard. _Yeah right, super werewolf hearing ring a bell?_

"What are you two talking about?" Sam rested his chin on Emily's shoulder and pulled her close to him, sighing when she let herself sink into his warmth. For a second I felt jealous until the mark on my hip began to throb, but not painful, almost like _he_ was running his fingers over it.

I looked up and sure enough Jake was looking at me with such heat in his eyes I nearly ruined my underwear right there. _Easy Bella…_

"Mm – what? I'm sorry what did you say?" I asked Sam. My face turned a darker shade of red at the shit eating grin spread over his handsome face.

"Now you've really got my interest," he chuckled and Emily smiled, leaning back to kiss his cheek.

"You remember that folklore about the dreamcatchers?"

"Em, I know I'm good, but not good enough to make you forget you're native," he laughed when she blushed and more so when she elbowed him in the stomach.

"Not _that_ you animal,"

"You love it," Sam's smile widened at Emily's sudden blush.

"Samuel!" although she sounded severe I could tell she was having trouble fighting off a smile.

"What I meant was that legend of the lifemate offering dreamcatcher," Sam's smile disappeared as he looked shocked putting together what Emily and I were talking about and Jake's sudden imprinting. While looking at me he whispered something. I frowned at him not hearing a word he was saying.

"Um, human here. I don't have super hearing," I smiled when he blushed. He looked around to see which pack members were around and sighed.

"Ah hell, they're going to hear about this one way or another," he looked at me, and then looked me up and down like he was looking for something. I frowned, and then it hit me.

"Oh! It's here," his eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

"Are you saying it worked?! Seriously"

"What is _it_ exactly?" I asked while I stood up and began unbuttoning my jeans. Sam cleared his throat and looked away.

"It isn't near the goods; you don't need to worry," he smiled with what looked like a slight reddish hue to his cheeks and looked in back of me at something.

Tightening his arms around Emily, Sam looked back at me and explained, "The legend says that a pack member can offer a lifemate of his choosing to his wolf, but for the imprint to happen, the wolf has to accept his pack member's choice to ensure the continuation of a strong bloodline."

"So how does the dreamcatcher fit into all of this?" I brushed my fingers over the mark and shivered at the sudden shock that shot through my body at the slightest touch.

"The way Quil senior had explained it was that seeing as our wolves are in our subconscious and can't actually communicate with our imprints, it only seems logical that Jake's wolf would only be able to communicate with you in your subconscious. In you're sleep," he looked back at Jake with a look of pure astonishment.

"What else did Quil senior say?"

"Well, if the wolf accepts his pack member's choice for an imprintt he would first coax the woman into desiring his pack member beyond anything she'd felt before," he grinned at me, "What is it?"

I looked up at Sam's face and realized I must be blushing and rubbed my palm over my forehead.

"If that's true, than Jake's wolf is a total nymphomaniac," Sam burst out laughing; I heard a few chuckles behind me and realized we had an audience. Quil and Seth who were next to the table of food had big knowing grins on their faces. _Oh lord…_

"So can we see it?" Emily's voice bubbled with excitement. She leaned forward in Sam's arms and looked down expectantly at my pants that I'd still left unbuttoned.

I slowly pulled down one side of my denim pants, showing them the mark on my hip bone.

"Holy shit – " Sam leaned closer to see it and Emily reached out to touch it but it suddenly throbbed, making me back up a step. I didn't know what to make of it, but guessed that whatever supernatural marking this was, it wasn't meant to be touched by anyone but me and Jake. Just the thought of him running his fingers over it, tracing it with his tongue creating a path from my marking to other lower regions. Just the thought of it had my breathing come in fast burst, my face burning a bright red and knees turn to jelly. That's when I noticed that Sam was talking to me.

"Um I'm sorry, what?" Both Emily and Sam were grinning widely at my trouble, obviously knowing where my trail of thoughts had gone.

"Jake's right, you do smell nice when you're turned on," I jumped at Paul's words as he spoke them from directly behind me, his voice low and sensual. Realizing I'd been caught in a wet dream; and that's exactly what it was since my underwear had been rendered completely useless, I looked down at my shoes, finding them incredibly interesting for the moment. That is until my mortified blush died down. _Stupid werewolves and their heightened sense of smell._

"What I said what that Jake's wolf accepted you. According to Quil Sr, It's said that if a pack member's wolf accepts the offering, you, he will brand the woman, indicating you as belong to him and his pack member," he looked at my mark and in back at something that I still couldn't see when I looked.

"You know, the wolf sitting and howling at the moon in that exact dark reddish brown color. That's the Black family emblem,"

I looked around trying to find Jacob and ask him if what Sam said was true. I looked all around, out back where Sam kept glancing, knowing something was up. I looked back at Emily who was grinning again.

"Wha-" I yelped when a pair of big strong arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me back against a very warm hard chest. I heard Jake's distinct chuckle and looked back with every intention of scolding him but all words died in my throat at the blinding smile he offered and look of utter devotion and pure love shining in his eyes. I gasped when his bold hands reached down and pulled the pieces of denim together, buttoning them and pulling the zipper up, his fingers lingering a little longer than necessary.

"Mine," he smiled and kissed the side of my neck, making me shiver.

He sat down next to Sam in front of the fire and pulled me down to sit between his outstretched legs. I was grateful for his warmth as the night's chill began to settle in, and I didn't even have to ask, it was like he knew what I wanted right away and offered it in a heartbeat.

I looked around, not use to public displays of affection,

"Bells, relax," he rubbed his hands up and down my cool arms warming them up instantly and brushed another kiss on my shoulder.

I closed my eyes and reveled in the attention, nearly falling asleep, I was that comfortable. That is until I heard a very distinct female voice say from across the fire,

"It's about time," Leah's graceful form sat down across the fire from us.

"That's what I keep hearing," I smiled at her, she smiled back but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "It's okay Leah, I'm not mad, honest," I saw her shoulders slump in relief. "In fact I'm relieved,"

Her head shot up, a look of pure confusion written all over her face.

"Relieved?" even Jacob sounded baffled.

"Yes relieved. It's hard raising a child by yourself and I'm always afraid that I going to mess up in some way. That maybe he could be missing something that I can't give him," I looked from Leah to Sam, to the rest of the Pack acting like complete clowns down by the beach, to Jacob, whom I'm still thanking my lucky stars hadn't given up on me.

"What are you talking about, you're a great mother," Emily laid her hand on mine. "What could Rafe possibly be missing?"

"All this, the Pack, the loyalty you all have for each other, the way Sam is with you," I smiled when she smiled up at me.

"Don't forget the way Jacob is with you, you keep forgetting you're an imprint," I smiled and giggled when Jake pulled me closer still and growled low in his throat, his teeth playfully nipping at the sensitive skin of my neck.

"All of this," I said once Jacob had stopped tickling me, "I couldn't have asked for a better environment for my son. And now he has something even better, something that most children never get to have. He has you," I saw Leah's eyes water, I really didn't mean to bring up such a string of emotions but I had to get this out. I needed her to believe me. Yes she'd only imprinted today, but she'd tiptoed the issue like she half expected me to run after her with one of Charlie's shot guns.

"He has someone he can depend and fall back on for the rest of his life. I know I won't always be able to be there for him, just like I know there are things he won't want to talk to me about. But he'll confide in you, and because of the imprint I know that you'll always have his best interest at heart,"

A smile slowly spread across Leah's beautiful face as tears of happiness and relief rolled down her cheeks.

"Thank you," she whispered so low I'd barely heard it. I smiled back in return and settled back against Jacob, sighing in contentment when he tightened his arms around me. That's when it hit me, Leah was here, then where was-

"Rafe!" I bolted upright but Jake pulled me back down chuckling. I frowned still trying to get up to tend to my son but he wouldn't have it.

"Easy Bells, you're not goin' anywhere," he kissed the shell of my ear, sending a jolt of pleasure down my body. I realized I hadn't really let someone else take the reins in so long it was a little unnerving to do so now. Even if it was Jacob and I knew there was nothing to worry about.

"Sue and Charlie left with Rafe almost an hour ago. They said something about you needing to loosen up and have fun," Leah grinned at the last part knowing exactly what they had meant.

I felt my cheeks burn with what must be a furious blush, and slapped Jake's hand when he playfully ran his hand down my waist and onto my thighs. He may be comfortable with his brothers, but I was certainly pushing my level of comfort with all the public displays of affection.

"Charlie's right, you really do need to loosen up, it's just us Bells," Embry chuckled and sat next to me and Jake.

"Just let it go Bells," the deep timber of Jake's voice combined with the heat of his body and love radiating from the way he held me, and cared for me was actually really soothing. Plus there was this constant pull towards him that just begged me to just let myself be taken care of by this wonderful man that I was having a lot of trouble fighting. Ever since the –

"Oh so that's what the imprint does," I didn't realize I'd spoken it out loud until I noticed a few raised eyebrows all around us coupled with giggles from both Kim and Emily. I guess Jared had been filling Kim in with what had been going on. Kim came and sat next to Leah still laughing at whatever expression I had on my face.

"You look like you just figured out the meaning of life or something," she smiled then sighed happily when Jared came and sat next to her, then pulled her onto his lap.

"Well I've been finding it really odd, the mark I found on my a few days ago, the dreams, oh lord," I slapped my hand over my mouth realizing I'd said a little too much. Quil, Embry, Seth, Paul and Jared burst out laughing at my outburst. I heard Jacob chuckle behind me.

"What can I say? I'm just that good,"

"Oh geez… that's all that wolf needs, another swollen head," the guys broke out in another fit of laughter at Leah's comment. I frowned not understanding until Paul chimed in,

"You think your dreams were graphic? Shit the stuff that Jake's been dreaming about, holy fuck, he's been giving us all a horrible case of blue balls," Leah huffed. "Except for Leah, she's was a real bitch… in heat," he added the last part before running for the forest, laughing like a hyena before phasing once he reached the trees.

"Oh yeah, you better run you sorry sack of –" Leah ran after Paul her words cut off as her body literally exploded into that of a giant grey wolf, her paws tearing up the dirt as she ran after him.

"That bad huh?" I looked back at Jake and grinned at the blush that colored his cheeks.

"Bad doesn't even begin to cover it," Kim smiled knowing at Jared who just hid his face in her neck. "Jared's been randy since Jake first snuck that dreamcatcher into your bedroom,"

I thought about it for a second and couldn't help but laugh. I tried to stifle it but I couldn't help it.

"You're having trouble loosening up with us but you think blue balls is funny? Not cool," Quil's comment was coupled with a smile, so I knew not to take it seriously but I still couldn't help where my train of thoughts was going.

"No it's not that,"

"Then what the hell are you laughing about?" Seth asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest, an eyebrow raised almost challenging me to spill it. _Ah hell, they want me to loosen up, fine._

"What can I say? I'm just that good," I parroted Jacob's words and burst out laughing at the groans coming from the guys, and yelped, trying to avoid the slaps from Emily and Kim. I heard yipping coming from the forest that sounded a lot like laughter, spurring me into deeper fits of laughter.

"You guys walked right into that one. You have to admit, that was good,"

"You know what else is good?" Jake's voice had a playful growl to it as his hands tightened around my waist.

"What," I couldn't keep the smile off my face, I was having way too much fun now.

"Having you to myself all night,"

"Oh yeah, you're pretty cocky to think I'm going to let y-" I yelped as he suddenly lifted me and spun me around until I was facing him then threw me over his shoulder in a fireman's hold.

"Who said you had a choice," he chuckled as he got up and waved goodnight to everyone. "Your father said you need to loosen up and have fun. What I have planned is loads of fun," I saw the guys chuckled and gasped then blushed furiously when Jared winked at me. I'm sure my face was beat red with my blush and hanging upside down. "Who am I to disregard your father's orders?"

"Jacob Black you put me down this instant!" I tried to push away but his steps were so long it had my upper body swaying as I hung unceremoniously upside down on over his back.

"Ooh Bells, didn't know you where that kinky. I was thinking more of somewhere private for what I had in mind," Leah and Paul came back out of the forest, both wearing huge grins as they waved at me.

"What the hell?! Can someone get me off this big lug?"

"Nope!" came a chorus of answers from the entire pack around the fire.

"Trust me, you both need this," Emily winked and shrieked as Sam picked her up in his arms and made his way back to their house. She giggled excitedly and gave me a thumbs up before taking hold of Sam's face and kissing him passionately in front of everyone.

I smiled at the how affectionate they were with each other, no matter where they were and suddenly wished it were like that with Jake and me. _It already is dumbass, you just need to let go_. I smiled and decided that if I really wanted what Sam and Emily and Jared and Kim had I had to give myself up to Jake, body and soul. I looked down at the outline of his amazing ass encased in his jeans hanging low on those mouth watering hips and decided it was worth it. _Oh yeah, totally worth it._

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Reviews are always greatly appreciated, the greatest motivation a girl can ask for.

thank you to all of you who voted on my poll for "The Path to Realization". The poll is still open for those of you who wish to vote.


	8. Chapter 8

Hi everyone! My muse if back and I've had a ton of ideas, including one for a new story which I've almost completely finished the first chapter.

Just as a note, a very special friend of mine and amazing writer, Goldengirl62, who recently ran into some trouble has decided to overcome the slander she was receiving and rose above it continuing her story for all of us to enjoy once more. If you have a chance read her stories, I highly recommend them, especially "Carpathian Wolf". That one had me on the edge of my seat.

Warning: there are lemons in this chapter and as always I own nothing =( sigh...

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**BPOV**

"Jacob Black you put me down right this instant!" I tried to sound severe with my years of practice as a mother but huffed in frustration when all I got in return was a chuckle.

He brought me back to his and Billy's house, the red wooden cottage style house still felt like my home away from home. He walked up the porch and gently lowered me to the ground. I wobbled a little when my feet landed on the wooden porch after having hung upside down for those few minutes. Jake chuckled and steadied me.

"Jake, uh listen, you know I love you and I know you love me but I find it a little soon to be-"

"Don't worry Bells," he smiled my genuine Jacob smile and pulled me in for a hug.

"But all that talk about loosening up and _that_," god, you'd think I would be able to talk freely about sex being in my twenties and especially with Jacob who'd known me since I was small.

"They were teasing you my sweet gullible Bells," I snorted when he chuckled. "But they really do want you to be more comfortable. Don't alienate yourself from us. Let us in,"

I looked up at him, not believing how well he could read me as though I were an open book, but then I realized, imprint or not, this was Jake. Not only was he an excellent judge of character but he knew me inside out. I was never able to hide anything from him.

"Okay," I looked down, sad that I'd made the pack feel this way, "I really didn't mean to alienate everyone, it's just that it's been a such long time since I've seen all of you, and I wasn't sure if I'd be accepted by everyone. Plus it's been along time since I've allowed someone in and trusted them wholly," I looked up, expecting anything but the scheming sexy smile playing over his beautiful face.

"Well then, it looks to me like you just needed an inspiration and reminder that no matter what the circumstance, you are always welcome among us. Besides I think I've got just the plan," his eyes twinkled with secret mischief as he brought us around the back of the house to the garage.

"What are you talking about?" I laughed when he walked by me with a mischievous grin.

"Wait here I'll be right back," he walked into his house and came back with a set of keys. I knew those keys!

"Holy crap you still have the rabbit?" I couldn't believe the thing was still alive.

"Hell yeah," he lifted an eyebrow at me, his grin lifting one side of his mouth. "I worked like a dog to fix that car, she was my first," I laughed at his wistful look.

"Gees, you're starting to make me feel jealous of a car," that's when I thought of Jacob making love with a girl for the first time and I felt my heart wrench like someone were squeezing it in a vice grip. Then again who was I to judge, I had a child for crying out loud.

"Bells," I looked up and saw that his look was suddenly very serious, like he felt the change of my mood instantly. He really must have with his wolf senses. He came up to me and hugged me close to his chest. I felt his chin on my head and felt his chest expand as he took a deep breath.

"I know that look," he whispered. Sighing he continued, "I'm not going to lie to you and say I'm a virgin because I'm not," I wanted to pull back and tell that it was ridiculous that he felt the need to explain. His arms tightened around me like bands of steel. "But I wanted you to know that there's no way any of them meant anything to me compared to you, even before the imprint,"

"Them?" I my eyes widened a little and I know I must have looked more than shocked. I mean I wasn't virgin either but Kevin was my first and my last. We'd only had sex that one time and look where it got me.

"I… well… yeah, them," I could see the color drain from his cheeks when he could tell I was little more than shocked. I didn't know what to say.

"Well? Aren't you going to say anything?" his question caught me off guard but I really didn't want to spoil our night with bickering or gut wrenching confession.

"What about that plan you had?" I knew it was a lame excuse but I needed an out. Just the thought of Jacob with different women, not one, different women made me feel like heaving. I could feel the wetness of tears coming but I blinked them away rapidly hoping to god he hadn't noticed. He did.

"Oh Bells, I'm so-"

"Don't you dare do that," I put my hand in front of me, stopping him and his sentence short. "Don't you dare apologize for something like that. Jacob, I left for five years, it's only natural that you moved on in that time," I took a deep breath, talking made the tears coming closer. "I'm not saying it doesn't hurt but I have to be realistic," I took a deep breath and smiled.

"You can't just stand there and tell me that you're okay with me having been with other women, 'cause I can tell you right now, I wasn't okay at all when you told me about what's-his-face? Carl, Ken?"

"Kevin," I winced when he sneered at the name.

"Least of all that you let yourself be influenced by a prick like that and weren't careful," I knew I had no right to judge him when it came to his sexual prowess considering what I'd brought home with me, I kind of expected this talk, but it still took me by surprise, and it still shamed me to admit I'd been duped so easily.

"I know, trust me you aren't the first to tell me that nor are you the one that's given me the most grief," I sighed and sat down on the nearest object, an upside down milk crate and put my head in my hands. "Trust me, I've been my worst enemy when it comes to making sure I don't get screwed like that again,"

At my words and I guess my defeated body language, Jacob softened a little and sat on the floor in front of me and rested his head in my lap.

"I've got an idea,"

"Yeah?" I was up for anything to change the topic at point.

"Let's just start from scratch, Jacob and Bella," he leaned his head back into my lap and looked up at me with my smile. I smiled back knowing that from now on, I really could be comfortable with him, the pack without fear of being judge. Not that I was before, but there was always that black cloud looming over my head afraid of what was being said when I wasn't there.

"Sounds like a great plan, I really like it," I brushed my fingers through his hair, giggling when he literally purred. "You gonna start thumping your leg against the ground too?" He rolled his eyes at me and reached behind him. His hands closed around my waist and pulled me down so quick I never what happened. Next thing I knew I was sitting across his lap on the floor, his arms encasing me in their warmth.

"So since we're starting from scratch I thought you and I could get to know each other again,"

"But you already know me inside out," I leaned into his hand when he brushed my hair out of my eyes. The pull I felt to him was so strong, just a touch from his hand I could feel myself become putty in his hands.

"Actually I don't," he smiled sadly. "Since you've moved you've changed. You've grown up, you're stronger, determined and even more stubborn than I remember," he chuckled when I frowned at his comment.

"Oh yeah, well you haven't changed one bit," I folded my arms and leaned away from him. The minute his lips touched my temple I knew I was lost. They were so warm, so inviting, so tempting.

"Oh I have changed," he whispered against my skin. "You'll just have to find those things out for yourself," he smiled against my temple when I huffed in frustration. He was so maddening!

"Jacob, since when did you become such a tease?" I practically screeched. I could feel a blush coming on from his closeness but I didn't care. This was Jacob, my soul mate, literally speaking.

"Recently," he shrugged like it was a normal thing.

"Oh lord,"

We spent the rest of the night talking. He about things that happened here in La Push and Forks; important things, sad things, good things. I told him about London and where I traveled in my last year once I'd graduated, what I'd seen. Mostly he wanted to know how I fared being a single mom; the good times, the bad times, the hard times and when I just needed to someone to talk to.

We talked until the sun came up and we were both falling asleep, still on the floor of the garage.

"Don't you have patrol?" I yawned and stretched out next to Jake on the floor.

"Nah, Sam gave me the night and today off so I could spend it with you," I smiled happy they had Sam as a leader; someone giving, understanding and generous.

"Ummm," I snuggled into his chest and smiled when he rumbled his approval when I molded my body to his and let sleep wrap its blanket of comfort and warmth around me.

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**Later that morning**

I woke up to the most amazing sensations. Warm soft lips were making a path up and down my neck, to my shoulders and back up to my ear. Large hands rubbed in long languorous strokes along my waist, hips and thighs.

My body, oh lord. My body was so warm, pressed up intimately against Jacob's wide hard chest, his body heat burning an imprint against my back. I stretched, my body pulling against Jacob's and I gasped in surprise when my backside came into contact with his long hard steely flesh.

Jake moaned against my neck and pulled my hips closer to him, the pressure of my backside against that hard sensitive part of him making him growl in arousal. I bit my lip, loving the effect I had on this intimidating yet beautiful specimen of a man.

"Tease," he rumbled against my neck and kissed my neck one more time before gently turning me over so he could kiss my lips. I gasped at the shock once our lips connected and instantly wanted more. I pulled him down with a hand behind his head and deepened the kiss. Our tongues battled for dominance, his hands roamed my soft curves while mine explored the hard plains of his. I draped a leg over his hips and brought him in closer with my leg. I could feel something pulling us closer and closer, urging us to continue on until what we knew was inevitable but Jake, the strongest of us two, managed to pull away and take a deep ragged breath.

At the moment all I knew, smelled, tasted, felt was him. I wanted him closer, deeper, cover myself with his scent. The mark on my hip throbbed, a delicious feeling that had stomach tied in knots, begging my body for release.

"Baby, easy," Jake smiled that beautiful sexy smile and kissed my temple. "Remember, we're going slow," he tried to pull away but I wouldn't let him.

"Fuck slow," I arched myself against him and grinned when he moaned, our bodies rubbing intimately.

"Bella, fight it for and remember you wanted to go slow," he pulled further away making my body cold instantly. I shivered at the sudden loss of body heat and then it all came back.

"Holy shit, Rafe!" I shot up off the bed and made for the door. A big warm hand wrapped around my waist and pulled me right off my feet and onto a hard warm chest.

"You may want to put some clothes on before you run out," I looked back at him and frowned not understanding when suddenly reality finally set in. I was in my bra and panties, he in his boxers and we weren't in the garage. We were in his room.

"When did all this happen?" my body went limp, as I tried to remember how in the world we went from snuggling on the floor to sleeping in his bed in our skivvies. I felt and heard his chuckles and shivered in arousal as his soft lips kissed my neck.

"You were out for the count baby, so I brought you in and undressed you in a very gentlemanly fashion, I didn't grope or fondle anything. I blushed, my body wishing he had, but my mind fell in love with him that much more for respecting me in my sleep.

"Thanks," I turned and gave him a quick peck before squirming to get down. "Down Belvedere," he growled and playfully bit my neck. I squealed and laughed, his teeth and lips tickling my sensitive flesh.

I managed to get down and quickly threw on a pair of boxers and t-shirt I found on the floor. I didn't care if that they'd been lying there, they smelled like him and were amazingly soft to the touch.

"You know, with my t-shirt on I don't think you need the boxers," leaning up against his dressed, Jake smirked and ran his heated gaze up my legs and thighs, taking in my disheveled look. "I must say, Miss Swan, you look devastatingly delicious in my clothes,"

"I try," I sighed, feigning boredom and looked at my nails, brushing them over the t-shirt. I looked up when I heard him growl and couldn't help my hunger sounds at the sight before me. I finally took him in and… wow, was all I could come up with.

He leaned lazily against his dresser, his abs flexing deliciously showing off their curves. His arms were crossed over his massive chest, the biceps bulging through the dark russet skin. His hair which was a little longer than he kept it since he'd begun phasing stuck out in every direction giving him a bedraggled 'I just had mind-blowing sex' look that made me want to jump right back on him and ride him like the animal he was.

"You keep lookin' at me like that and we won't be leaving this room for another day or two," I looked at his handsome face and literally almost came in my underwear at the look he was giving me, like I was his favorite desert he'd take his time devouring.

"I'm going to go see what's going on," I backed out of the room, keeping a close eye on him, not wanting to turn my back knowing that by doing so the anticipation for his move would kill me. He raised an eyebrow at me in question and gestured to the door with his chin.

"Don't be gone too long," I swear leaving that room was one of the hardest things I've had to do in a long time.

Once the door was closed behind me I put my back against it and breathed a sigh of relief, then I heard his slow steps as he approached the door, knowing I was on the other side. I shivered knowing he could probably smell me.

With a lot of effort I peeled myself off the door, faster when I heard him breath in long and deep and growl in satisfaction. "I'm gonna be in the shower if you need me. A cold cold shower,"

I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips at the almost tortured sound of his voice and finally made it to the kitchen unscathed. Billy was nowhere to be found but there was a note left for us on the table in his very clean hand writing.

"Huh, guess Jake didn't take after his father in his writing skills,"

"I heard that,"

"Sure, sure," I smiled, realizing he was rubbing off on me in more ways than one.

_Hey kids,  
I'm off to Sue's to meet Charlie and the little sprite. _

I smiled at his nick name for Rafe.

_Bella, Charlie wanted me to make sure that you used today and tonight to relax. Besides, he wants some one on one time with his grandson and my son wants some time with you.  
Enjoy and let yourself be taken care of for a change girl, give my boy the benefit of the doubt. He loves more than life itself._

_Lots of love, Billy xox_

By the end of the letter I had a big goofy grin on my face and a light heart. I had the day with Jake! I felt like a teenager again.

I looked at their kitchen and I smiled as an idea came to me. I wanted to thank the pack for being there for me and for taking me back so readily into their big family. I looked in the fridge and saw that the food was scant. Even better, I smiled and went back to Jake's bedroom, got dressed quickly and knocked on Jake's door.

"Yeah,"

"You up for some grocery shopping?"

"You're talking to a walking stomach, what do you think?" I laughed and went out to sit on the porch and breathe in the sweet country air, the scent of the forest, the beach and the moss covered earth relaxing me. For the first time since I'd left, I felt at peace. This is what I was meant to find. This was my personal piece of heaven. And heaven he was.

* * *

Thank you to all of you who have stuck by me with my two stories. Path to Realization is coming to an end, as to whether or not there will be a spin off is to be determined. I'm not sure.

And thank you for all reviews, they're really really appreciated =) xox


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